THEIs it possible to fall in love in 45 minutes? Is it possible that 36 questions are enough to love and then fall in love in 45 minutes? A very fascinating question that has recently come to light, which a group of psychologists led by their colleague tried to answer in 1997. Arthur Aaronwhich he then republished with a revision in 2022 entitled 36 Questions: The Movie (Featuring Dr. Arthur Aron).The group developed a questionnaire for a couple of strangers to ask themselves. Some actually fell in love, and got married, others didn’t. But so does it really work?
Love, 36 questions to fall in love. What is Aron’s test
If just a few seconds, 7 to be exact, are enough to create your first impression on a person, something more is needed to truly fall in love. But how long exactly? In 1997 a group of psychologists led by Arthur Aron conducted an experiment to do just that investigate what factors contribute to developing emotional intimacy between two people. The experts presented the couples with a questionnaire of 36 questions, divided into 3 groups from the most generic to the most personal, which people had to ask each other in 45 minutes.
The result was varied. While it is true that some people did not fall in love but established a deeper bond thanks to the questions, other participants got married. Some within a short time others deepened their knowledge and then married later. Since then the so-called “36 questions to fall in love”, as the test is known today, began to be surrounded by a series of urban legends, so much so that even today we think that by doing it we immediately fall in love with the other person. But is it really possible?
What it takes to fall in love
Answering the question straight away, according to science, no, it is not possible to fall in love in such a short time: “To date, no one has been able to scientifically establish how long it takes to fall in love, for the simple reason that the time span varies greatly from person to person, from relationship to relationship and is influenced by circumstances” explains the psychologist and psychotherapist Carolina Traverso.
In other words, love is strongly influenced by the personal lived: «There are people who fall in love very quickly, especially when they are younger, and then take things more calmly in adulthood, even if it doesn’t always go like this». Added to this are external factors, for example if you are ready for a relationship, if you have just come out of a relationship and therefore have a greater need for solitude, if you are a romantic or thoughtful person: «The risk of the former tends to be to rush things, because they tend to idealize those in front of them. The risk of the latter is of never letting go and therefore ending up being left.”
When you feel comfortable with the other person
Not to mention the physical and emotional attraction: «Physical attraction alone is not enough to guarantee a beautiful love story, emotional attraction is also necessary. While some established couples might recount the initial stages of their story saying they felt an immediate connection, while others might admit it took longer.”
So why try to take the 36 questions test to fall in love? Surely to communicate or to do so again, it is no coincidence that this test is also widely used by psychologists when a couple is in crisis. Talking, sharing personal experiences, helps re-establish a connection and a communication that in some cases can be lost between the two people. It can certainly represent a excellent starting point for two people who don’t know each other or know little, maybe not so much to fall in love but also just to get to know each other better.
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