These harrowing recordings of a Deichkind concert were leaked to us.
Meta-clever performance about the condition of the present – or rather “drinking helmet on and through”? Linus Volkmann went to a Deichkind concert for the pop column.
The anger of God
Without having observed you all completely over time, this assumption can hardly be wrong: namely that the vast majority of them have quite a few concert visits on their personal tachometer. I would even like to go so far that many can fall back on a regular concert routine. This makes you feel safe to a large extent when going out – but it doesn’t exactly help with the thrill.
That’s why I’m taking you with me today to one of the few concert events that are still mythically overgrown today. To the performative meta-beer band Deichkind. Here one does not really know … Is it all just a show or rather an escalating Hedo happening like in Sodom and Gomorrah, shortly before the cities were closed by the wrath of God?
So … Deichkind live, how do you get in there, how do you get out safely? I have now tested it at her appointment in the Festhalle Frankfurt.
Tighten the straps on your beer helmets, we’re going in!
01
The fascination and the tingling in the run-up lie above the “regular” live performances, for which one otherwise always has tickets. If only because everyone in the circle of friends has some crass story to tell about a Deichkind concert: “I know someone who met his partner under that ‘beer teat’ that the band rolls into the audience and a year later they Deichkind-Zipper married.” “In the middle of the tens, one of the dancers under those pyramid hats was safe Kevin Kühnert!”, “My brother-in-law knows someone who lost both arms in the mosh pit.”
Urban myths work against all the Deichkind legends like the news.
02
Where do you actually find alcohol- and excrement-repellent clothing in your tattered hipster wardrobe?
03
Another topic: What exactly does this beer teat, mentioned briefly above, want from me? Sure, nothing is worse than forced drinking groups with Bundeswehr flair, but when everyone afterwards uninhibitedly couples to songs like “Luftbahn” and that on a pulsating mirror made of beer, small animal litter, confetti and bodily fluids … then you don’t want the one person either be standing on the sidelines doing DuoLingo or writing down car numbers from memory. So plan your intoxication and, to be on the safe side, hand in three days of vacation after the event. Life Hack: Yellow Shine.
04
We are family – and already on the tram. You don’t really need to know human nature to know who else has the destination Frankfurt Festhalle, i.e. Deichkind. There are wild creatures with country charm, to disguise the intended insult a bit. Men in shorts and comedic oversized sun hats. Staggering awkwardly, they sweat into the six-packs they have tucked under their arms. Boombox carriers accompany these groups like the trumpet smurf. The tart smell of an extra holiday fills the coffin on rails… Here it is: Father’s Day two! My God.
05
In front of the hall, however, the dystopia clears up significantly. People to be read as women, couples, normies, a striking number of children … In the end, Deichkind live is fun for everyone – and not just a permille penis regulars’ table? Try not to cry with relief.
06
In general, a lot has happened in the band, even if their lowest common concert denominator somehow still today excess is. In 2023, the Hamburg collective Deichkind seems to be more aware of its responsibility than ever – and that an event isn’t particularly great if there are only piles of drinkers letting off steam in front of the stage – and physical aggressiveness sets the climate for the entire audience. In the run-up to the tour, the band spreads information tiles via their social media channels, which try to sensitize visitors to safety and, above all, the fun of the other guests.
07
So in the end, this is about bringing ecstasy and self-control into one? Challenge accepted, we think visitors: inside and treat ourselves to the beer stands. The drinking queues in the festival hall are longer than at the most popular attractions in Disneyland.
08
Deichkind concerts also have something of rustic binge eating. Standing in front of the fridge at midnight, ready for anything, when the infamous “munchies” kick in (the cravings after smoking weed). Long live the snack time. Nowhere seen such a paragraph of thick sandwiches as at this concert here. lay the foundation! Stock up on Vespers! You still have remoulade in your hair!
09
Even if the bands don’t like to hear it: You have to save on your own merch purchases. The even larger XXL rags, which still seemed fashionable as shirts in the intoxication of the event, remain on the hook today. There is a deposit of three euros on the Deichkind drinking cups – and at the end – you already know – you will be too weak to redeem your coins again. On the other hand, the plastic scrap is talked up as a fantastic devotional item with immense memorabilia. Of course, Greta Thunberg must never know!
10
There’s music too! VJ Wasted opens the evening. Sounds fancy, but it’s just something between the person and the playlist that plays a few cool YouTube videos. Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney Spears … a lot of female acts, until the transition to the main act finally approaches. The zipper song mediating between Deichkind and VJ Wasted is the dramatic power ballad “Total Eclipse Of A Heart” by Bonnie Tyler.
11
The stage is hidden behind a huge curtain, but in the style of Chinese shadow theater you can already see the band acting as oversized silhouettes behind it. The tension rises, the curtain remains, I catch myself looking at the clock. Open now! Nothing. Principle of postponement of lust, or what? The Deichkind Prelude – a lesson in humility. Then finally, piffpaffpuff!, the stage is defoliated. The show is on!
12
When I called Deichkind a “band” in Section 11, that seems about as selective as calling an emu a little bird. So not completely wrong but somehow yes. Deichkind are live a good dozen dancers, rappers, actors. One ensemble, one show…this is a musical through the back door.
13
After one of the first songs, the social media address appears again. An announcement without beats: “Look around, see who’s standing next to you, greet each other, look out for each other”. Small gesture of mindfulness? Perhaps. In my opinion, however, this moment has a very positive effect on the atmosphere. The concert as a collective experience, at best as a common utopia. Instead of property damage, I suddenly dream of a new togetherness. no shit
14
What a show! That behind the cross-eyed stupidity of slogans like “Do you hear the signals? The drinking signals!” Everyone knows that Deichkind has an incredibly elaborate world. But this concentration or enlargement of an indoor stage makes it extremely visible. Impressions of the artist Mark Rothko run through some of the stage sets, and one often thinks one is looking at a Vogue fashion series that has come to life. And when the electric bull in the form of a Gucci handbag is being ridden in slow motion… a year’s Cultural Studies theses could be occupied with this symbolism. But there are always counter-cultural insiders, for example when a “DK” abbreviation appears and is based on the logo of the American anarchopunks of the Dead Kennedys. The postmodern circus is in town.
15
Someone with a six-beer mug carrier stumbles past me, a little of his drink wetting my spats. Person apologizes profusely. Deichkind concert bizarre!
16
The immense reverberation that the walls of the multi-purpose hall mixes with the live sound actually makes it difficult to tell the pieces apart. Vibration instead of music enjoyment.
17
The set list mediates between the epochs and hits of the band, the current album NEWS VOM DAUERSTATE also has its place. From “Lecko Mio” to “Kids my age”. A number of classics appear in updated versions, a helium voice gives songs like “Bück dich hoch” quite a Mickey Mouse swag, while an incredibly beautiful office chair choreo is performed on stage.
18
The barrel and the dinghy will still be driven through or over the crowd in 2023. The beer teat, on the other hand, seems to have retired, been in quarantine or gone to hell. (Or was hidden from me because of my distinctive civilian bull aura).
19
A flag is waved on the barrel. Inscription: No beer for Nazis.
20
At some point, Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s The Power Of Love will be on. Encore is “Remmidemmi”.
21
With all the simulated chaos, the live production, whose music comes from the tape, leaves little room for spontaneous interludes. Only when the Cream song “White Room” comes at the end do the pyramid hats, the funny glasses and huge helmets fall off. Deichkind’s well-clocked system is finally becoming permeable. The ensemble dances ringlets, laughs, hugs, is exhausted, looks relieved. Kind of nice. somehow deserved.
Because ecstasy and self-control have to be soldered together as closely as this act managed to do today.
*Thank you for the inspiration and photos from Katharina Schmidt
What happened until now? Here is an overview of all pop column texts.
