When you think of bullying, you quickly think of young people with nasty comments in the schoolyard. But bullying is an even bigger problem among the elderly, according to research by the National Elderly Association. In nursing homes, as many as 1 in 5 residents has to deal with bullying behaviour. That is why they have a special anti-bullying coordinator in Hagedonk residential care center in Prinsenbeek.
The residents of Hagedonk sit together at a long table during lunch. But it is not always that pleasant. Because there is sometimes a lot of bullying among the elderly. Resident Leny gives some examples. “Some people avoid each other, they don’t want to sit at the table together. Or they make ugly comments and snarl at each other. They are sometimes like little children.”
Residents Jo and Mien also recognize this. “Fortunately, we don’t think there is really bullying here. But some do think they are more than others. And if you are new, it can also be difficult to conquer a spot.”
According to anti-bullying coordinator Peter ten Hove, bullying in care centers can have major consequences. “It can ultimately lead to social isolation.” But bullying is difficult to detect, he says. “It is hardly noticeable to carers, even though we walk through the room during dinner. We are not trained for it either. I can come up with a protocol for it.”
Shame also plays a major role, explains Peter. “People keep it quiet because they are ashamed of it. But when we hear it, we start a conversation to make the bully aware of his or her behavior.”
There are all kinds of anti-bullying programs for children. Not for the elderly. That’s why they go all out at Hagedonk on the Day against Bullying. Peter explains: “We have had placemats made with tips on how people can respond to bullying and what they should not do. We also make people aware that we have a trusted person they can turn to and that they can seek support. together.”
The anti-bullying program is already taking effect. Peter proudly says: “In Hagedonk we try to ensure that there are no cliques and that people are excluded. That is why we point out the places during dinner. We fill tables and then people move to the next table. always with others and no one is alone.”
Resident Leny hopes that all that extra attention will help. “You would think that older people would become milder. But bullying still occurs. I hope that people become more tolerant and that it becomes even more fun.”