The longest unguarded border of the world now has a new and insurmountable wall that moves from coast to coast. A barrier that is as real as it is imaginary. For Canadians, who are constantly victims of Donald Trump’s glaring attempts to make them the 51st US state, control from American border officials is no longer necessary. The border is now self -regulating and self -monitoring. Because almost the entire population of the peaceful neighboring country in the north, my homeland, agrees. Entry to the USA is not just taboo. It’s a kind of betrayal, almost treason.
Canada was the goal of ridiculous jokes
The largest cross -border threats for Canada have been from the south for decades. Weapons. Drugs. Weak beer. Idiotic wars. Responsible policy. Reality TV. Idiotic wars and now also completely absurd tariffs as well as the insane attempt to annex. Canada was always a refuge for Americans. For loyalists in the War of Independence. And for slaves in the civil war. Then for conscientious conscience in the Vietnam War. And for women in the overly real fictional gender war from “The Handmaid’s Tale”.
Canada was also the goal of ridiculous jokes-a constant object of the mockery, Yin on Yankee Yang, universal health care and social justice as an alternative to the nihilistic “We will all die” feeling of the United States. A calm and polite passive neighbor who prospered under a trade agreement negotiated by Trump was so grimaced that his existence was hardly noticed.
Former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, father of the recently replaced Prime Minister Justin, once said that life next to the United States was like sleeping with an elephant – every movement can be felt. But what is it like to exist in addition to an angry, irrational, vengeful orangutan on the killing spree, a tariff, which is piling up to a tariff, with narcissistic madness in Nero-dimensions, which wants to immortalize himself as a historical figure worthy of Mount-or if necessary as a dictator?
American image in a descent
Donald Trump, self -proclaimed master marker and seller, attaches great importance to the value of his brand. He claims that this alone is a billion value – a large part of his invented assets are based on the intangible value of his annual number in the style of PT Barnum. As president, Trump has enriched himself and his fraudulent children with dubious crypto and creepo shops, whereby his family even demanded the construction of a Trump golf course for farmers on Vietnamese rice fields as the latest blackmail stitch. He brought corruption to a new low – possibly even rivaling Wladimir Putin with his model.
Trump is also the administrator of the most valuable brand of human history: the United States. Instead of Trump’s measly billions, the America brand is worth a trillion, an immeasurable value that has been experiencing the most radical revision since New Coke in the 1980s.
An advertising professional from Manhattan, who was commissioned under Obama for the application by “Brand USA”, explains to me that the message at that time was simple and effective: democracy, independence, freedom. Today, the keywords are capitalism and culture – but this only describes the processes in beautiful words.
“The world is denied what really happens in America,” says the advertising professional. “The choice was a reflection of America – the choice shows what America is: frustrated young white guys, angry born.”
For Canadians, who boycott US products in protest against Trump’s attack on their economy and sovereignty, there is still a humorous side in the irresistible attraction of American culture. A sketch of the CBC show “This Hour Has Twenty-Two Minutes” with the title “Canadians Anonymous” illustrates this: confessed Canadians confess that they cannot get enough of three-layer US Klopapier at Walmart or want to exchange Diet Pepsi for generic Canadian Light cola. In a kind of anonymous group you confess your relapses when buying American products such as dry alcoholics. This love-hate relationship seems one-sided: only Canada feels it.
Trump’s negging brings Canadian together
The star of the show is Mark Critch, a new country countries with Atlantic accent and sharp humor. Not a comedian for the US mainstream like Mike Myers or Jim Carrey, but one who produces for Canadians.
“When I order a Manhattan in Toronto, I am immediately suspicious,” says Critch. “As if it were the worst ever.”
Critch compares Trump with a toxic friend who manipulates Canada by claiming that America does not need Canadian wood, steel or water – even though the opposite is right. Ironically, Trump’s permanent devaluation of Canada has created a historically unprecedented patriotism. Canadians feel united by Trump’s greed from the urban hipster to the prairie low. For decades, Canadians defined themselves over the “non-American being”. Thanks to Trump, this negative definition has gained new importance – as a stubborn national property.
The con-man in the Potemkin village
A little noticeable aspect of high -staples is that they have to surround themselves with people who are stupid or unscrupulous enough to take part in their fraud. Trump’s court includes Trottel like JD Vance, Poser like Don Jr., and fanatics like Peter Navarro, Stephen Miller and Kash Patel. Others know that it is a fraud, but hope for profit – like Elon Musk, depending on the ketamine level. Together they hope that big lies will become a truth if they are only big enough.
But the result is that the high -stapler himself is the loneliest man in the room – often his own victim, convinced of his lies, isolated from reality. The new Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney-ex-Goldman-Sachs-Banker-knows this type. In the White House he listens to Trump’s lies, counters with technical jargon like “Step Change” in trade negotiations while Trump nods confused. Carney is the counter -design: a globally experienced financial strategist who doesn’t have to take Trump seriously.
Critch says: “Carney gives Trump the chance not to look stupid. Carney can explain it to him. He has experience with guys like Trump.”
Canada’s plan: Post-America
Trump lives in a Potemkin village, a global snow global craze, in which only he is right, foreigners pay tariffs and he is worshiped. Despite the universal aversion in Canada, Trump continues that Canada will be the 51st state.
“In the beginning, the Canada stuff was a joke,” says Critch. “Maybe it’s still. But the world realizes that there is no plan.”
Carney’s plan is not to provoke Trump. But behind the courtesy, Canada drives trade agreements with Europe and Asia, reduces internal trade barriers – and is feverishly preparing for a world in America.
Democratic diversity as a bulwark
“Canada” comes from the Irokesian word for a collection of villages – a suitable picture for a society full of diversity. There is plenty of political complexity: separatists from Quebec saved the choice by votes for Carney’s liberals; while right -wing preard residents are planning to split off. Americans fear “Polar Vortex”, Canadians simply call it winter. Your solution to problems: democracy.
However, the bitter realization is below the surface that America hardly shows defense for Canada. Only with economic consequences grew awareness. Trump’s rejection of diversity, equality and integration is a direct attack on Canada’s basic values. Canada is an immigrant nation like the United States, but faces demographic disaster without immigration. Tolerance and diversity are the only viable path in a shrinking, warmer world – a concept that Trump mocks.
Farewell to America
At the border crossing north of Watertown, New York, hundreds of vehicles usually build on Memorial Day. This year: not a single queue on the Canadian side, despite the holiday season. Only my children’s car, back from the university.
The decline in tourism numbers is not just statistics, but an expression of a civilization change. The half -empty folk festivals in Minnesota, the sales ads for apartments in Florida, the empty hotels in Maine: signs of profound alienation.
From the point of view beyond the 49th degree of latitudes, America does not turn away from Canada – but from himself, its history, its constitution, the world. America falls into the bottom for Canadians. Even freedom of the press is questioned. The possession of this magazine could already be considered crimes on the border – depending on the pass, skin color or religious affiliation. A US border officer could confiscate everything the “Dear Leader” disapproves-also a copy of the Rolling Stone.
Anyone who crosses the Thousand Islands Bridge enters the only real bulwark that Trump has ever built: a country free of the self -pity and anger of an old man – the true north, strong and free.