Music can be a key to cope with the grief when we say goodbye. For example after a death, at a funeral or a separation. The music is a sign of life. And great songs on this topic show that one is one thing above all: not alone.
Child’s funeral: Arcade Fire – “Funeral”
“My Family Tree’s Losing All It’s Leaves”: Because suddenly some beloved people disappeared from their lives, the young band from Canada called her debut “Funeral”. Régine Chassagnes Großess Alice died in June 2003. Win and William Butler’s grandfather, the musician Alvino Rey, died in February 2004. Shortly afterwards, Richard Reed Parrs Aunt followed in April of the same year.
The American doctor Elisabeth Kübler-Ross had already described five stadiums in the 1960s, who went through people in the face of death. On “Funeral” they were all translated into emotional songwriting: isolation, anger, denial, depression and in the end: acceptance.
In the beginning the shock is over the loss, packed in fantastic stories about children in a world without adults (“Neighbourhood #1”). In the end, however, at least the insight dawns that the rebellion against the parents might only be a rebellion against the unloved truths of growing up: “People Say that You’ll The Faster Than Without Water/ But We Know It’s Just A Lie, Scare Your Son, Scare Your Daughter/ Now Here’s the Sun, it’s Alright! Now Here’s the Moon, it’s Alright! “
Farewell to the wife: Herbert Grönemeyer – “The Way”
Herbert Grönemeyer’s brother Wilhelm and his wife Anna Henkel died of cancer every few days in November 1998. Grönemeyer said:
“If you experience such a disaster, you are completely hysterical, broken and anxious. For me, music is a form of enthusiasm and a valve that keeps my life in balance. It is my private high security wing. My secret that accompanies me everywhere and that nobody can take me. I thought: If you also lose this center of your life, it is over.“
In London he processed his grief and again took the first careful steps in music. A product of this process was “the way”. The album “Mensch” from 2002, on which the song can be found, expresses the tension between Herbert Grönemeyer’s despair, melancholy and its confidence during that time.
In memory of the mother: Biffy Clyro – “Puzzle”
Simon Neil wrote the texts for the fourth Biffy-Clyro-album “Puzzle” after the death of his mother Elanor in March 2004. In particular, the song “Folding Stars” should be emphasized, in whose chorus the name Elanor falls several times. According to Neil, it was the most emotionally challenging song he ever recorded. The possibility of writing and singing about the death of his mother was therapeutic.
“Puzzle” begins furiously. The song “Living is a problem Because Everything dies” provides unequivocal to understand which topic the other songs circle. The last song “Machines” is completely opposite. With the acoustic guitar, Simon Neil looks fragile and yet optimistic and sings: “Take the Pieces and Build Them Skywards”.
Farewell without funeral: Manic Street Preater – “Cardiff Afterlife”
On February 1, 1995, the copywriter and rhythm guitarist of the Manic Street Preachers, Richey Edwards, disappeared into London without a trace. His car was later found on the Severn Bridge in Wales. It connects the country with England and is a notorious place for suicide.
Edwards regularly became striking in advance through his self -harmful behavior, which was accompanied by severe depression. In an interview with the “NME”, for example, he scratched the words with a razor blade “4 Real” in the forearm after being asked about his seriousness in relation to his art. Richey Edward’s parents had him explained to “Presumed Dead) in 2008. A death without funeral.
The song “Cardiff Afterlife” appeared on the album “Lifeblood” from 2004. Death, loneliness and ghosts are the leitmotifs of the lyrics. They deal with the past of the band and with Edward’s disappearance. Together with the album “Journal for Plague Lovers” published in 2009, “Cardiff Afterlife” and “Lifeblood” stand for the memory of the remaining band members of Richey Edwards. Only texts by Edwards were used for “Journal for Plague Lovers”.
About honest and dishonest sympathy: Inogen Heap – “Hide and Seek”
Perhaps the Farewell song for those who were teenagers in the 2000s. The reason: the US television series OC California. The figure Caleb Nichol dies at the end of the second season and IMogen Heap delivered the soundtrack to the scenes of the funeral with “Hide and Seek”.
The song initially deals with the loss of a loved one. Above all, however, he addresses the hypocrisy of uninvolved, which mourners are often exposed to. “”Ransom notes Keep Falling Out Your Mouth / Mid-Sweet Talk / Newspaper Word Cut-Outs / Speak No Feeling, NO, I Don’t Believe You / Sou Other Care a bit, you any care a bit. “
Empty and insight: Sufjan Stevens – “Carrie & Lowell”
In 2012 Sufjan Steven’s mother Carrie died. The album “Carrie & Lowell” dedicated to her and his stepfather revolves around her physical decay, the memory of a difficult childhood and the emptiness that obtained him after the funeral. Song titles such as “Death with Dignity” or “Drawn to the Blood” speak volumes.
The saddest song and heart of the album is “4th of July”, a dialogue at the bedside with Carries, evaporating soul. “It was what you you died, my firefly/ what could I have to raise you from the dead?” asks Stevens. His mother replies, a cold spirit from the hereafter: “Did You Get Enough Love, My Little Dove/ Why Do You Cry?/ And I’m sorry i Left, but it was for the best/ though it never felt right”.
Without inhibitions, Stevens shows up in his most fragile state, thrown back on childlike primeval fears of leaving. It is all the sad that it is “We’re all gonna die” Apparently the only comforting words that an adult (his mother) knows how to give another adult (to him).
Funeral and reunion: Eric Clapton – “Tears in Heaven”
Perhaps the best -known song Eric Claptons is probably the saddest. “Tears in Heaven” is dedicated to his late son Conor, who fell out of the window of a high -rise in New York on March 20, 1991 at the age of four. Together with Will Jennings, Clapton wrote the song “Tears in Heaven” as a soundtrack for the film “Rush”.
His thoughts bluntly reflect on seeing his son in heaven. Regardless of his status as a world star, he asks the same questions as many other parents who have lost a child. “Of course you know my name / if i saw you in Heaven?”.
This question seems to be particularly important to him because he neglected his duties as a father before his son’s death. Alcohol problems and various relationship dramas overshadowed his bond with Conor. In 2004, Eric Clapton stopped playing “Tears in Heaven” live because he claimed to overcome grief.
Funeral of grief: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – “Skeleton Tree”
Nick Caves album “Skeleton Tree” from 2016 also deals with the topic of the late child. In contrast to “Tears in Heaven”, the majority of the music and part of the texts were already created before the accidental death of his 15-year-old son Arthur. So you could say that “Skeleton Tree” did not appear because Nick Cave’s son died, but although he died. This fact can be understood as a triumph of creativity.
Read a detailed criticism of “Skeleton Tree” here.
Nick Cave’s music has always been morbidity. It is elegant and profound. So it is hardly surprising that this also applies to this example. However, the open handling of grief as with “Tears in Heaven” is in vain on the album. Cave waived interviews on this topic and left Andrew Dominik’s speech.