ANDLeonora Abbagnato And Federico Balzaretti they returned to Palermo: the city where they got married for the first time fifteen years ago, in splendid Palatine Chapel of the Norman Palace. The couple promised each other eternal love for the second time in their lives. She in a white silk suit with asymmetrical skirt and oversized shirt for the ceremony, then a sheath dress studded with golden crystals from the Maison Ferrari for the party in the botanical garden. Him in a cream-colored suit, open shirt, no tie. A joyful and romantic celebration. But what’s the point of promising everything again? Spending money on a second ceremony? Put up with relatives? Confirm something again that should be obvious?
A tradition as old as marriage itself
Vow renewal is not a modern invention nor a celebrity fad. The tradition of Catholic Church predicts that later 25 years — le silver wedding — the spouses renew their vows before God and the community. A ritual that has existed for centuries, rooted in the idea that love is not a punctual event but a continuous process. In the’ancient Rome marriage was already a civil event in which the spouses exchanged vows in front of witnesses. The public promise served a specific purpose: make the commitment real, tangible, shared. It wasn’t enough to feel it inside, you had to say it out loud, in front of everyone.
A rite of passage for love
Repeating a gesture – the same gesture, in the same place – is not nostalgia. It’s a way to recognize who you have become and choose to continue together. From the point of view anthropologicalvow renewal turns an anniversary into a real one rite of passage: you enter as the couple you were, you leave as the couple you chose to still be.
The love you choose
Psychologists call it theory of deliberate commitment: early romantic love arises by itself, involuntarily. But love that lasts is a choice that is actively renewed. The renewal of promises is exactly this: a public act of conscious choice. Not “I still love you despite everything” — but «I choose you again, knowing everything». The research ofUniversity of Missouri over 14 longitudinal studies confirm that a good marriage requires time, effort and energy from both. Renewal is a visible way of investing all this.
Continue to promise each other love, over time
The promise has a unique feature: links the present to the future. “Forever” at twenty means promising an unknown future. When you say it again at forty, after children, distances and changes, you are talking about a future that you have already partly experienced. The renewed promise is more aware, more courageous, more true. Eleonora Abbagnato says it with disarming simplicity: «Our wedding was a celebration. We had fun like crazy. And we would like to get married 10 times more».
Because we do it more and more
The phenomenon is growing, and not just among celebrities. In an era in which marriages last less and less and “forever” sounds almost naive, choosing to celebrate the love that endures has become an act against the current. Almost revolutionary. In a world that runs and takes everything for granted – stop, look each other in the eyes and say “I would choose you again” it is perhaps the rarest and most precious thing that exists.
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