CAra Ester,
I would like to share a story and have your opinion. I know a nice type of years ago and we have been sporadically feeling with exchanges of messages or articles. Similar interests and the same university education are united.
We meet in person sometimes, at some conference because we live in different cities. Six months ago I go up to his city and in the end what we thought both would be sooner or later successful, because anyway The attraction has always been.
At this point he, who lives and says he is in love, proposes me to meet again and see us again. I shoot myself. I am separated for years and I can do as I want, But I explain to him that for me sex is an important thing, it is linked to the affection and interest x the life of the other person.
I don’t even start certain storiesbecause I don’t want to become attached and maybe suffer knowing from the beginning that there can be no future.
He tells me that soulless sex is a phrase from Baci Perugina and that in any case he does not see the problem, If he likes a woman, in the drum to bed, despite having a partner he loves.
Life is short, he says, and you have to make it light with moments of joy.
He claims his thesis saying that there are societies in the world, albeit minority, who live with this philosophy (Polymorous? I wonder).
But in polyamoreI believe, the parties must agree. In this case, it seems to me instead that it is a personal choice, based on a personal philosophy of living.
The real sin for me is not to have not yet met someone to interest, apart from the physical attraction, to look in the same direction. The proposals I receive are of sex without commitment or sex for evasion from the marriage routine.
I thank you very much if you want to answer me.
TO.
Ester Viola’s answer
Dear A.,
Even being disammical, twenty years ago, was easier.
An unfortunate of the last century was not as unfortunate as that of this century.
We leave out what interests you, the specific case, yours, and spend on the general plan. Find in succession some of the news I see:
a) The relationships are of the same substance as the crystal. They crack after two minutes. Springs and “I no longer try the same things” as the main motivation of divorce. The third grade kids already know and report to dinner “Mom is only Pierluca and I have not separated parents”. It’s over the era of responsibility. See you to conclude with “thank goodness” or “unfortunately”. Without these words being touched by moral intent: they all have the packaged justification, they say “we are much more serene like this”. Sereni today, more serene tomorrow (I want to see you), the family as a semi-solid institution died and nobody went to the funeral. For heaven’s sake we do not make the discourse political, I only say that it happens. The ties are very crushed and it is more normal that they break than.
b) Feeling, Likeing, Write yourself. It’s nothing, it is worth nothing. Those who are interested in you can do it because it is not interested in you. It is not madness, they are the twenty. In 1999 even a message a month could mean something: if the matter prolonged, people very capable of waiting and sacrificing themselves could authorize themselves to hope. They were the Pollicino of relationships, poverty -like who in the end were able to blow up the counter. Hope was a possibility, a practicable option, and the result was proportional: the more the contacts increase the more the possibilities increase. The same was therefore bad, the heart had the reasons that the reason did not know, but the reason was behind it and it worked. Now one who writes you, always looks at you the stories first and comments can have goals equal to zero.
Why does it do it?
The answer is among the following already listed several times:
a) he likes you slightly
b) YES YEAR
c) he likes you, but less than another
d) interval of the match
e) he likes you five minutes a week, but he wouldn’t want you
f) is in line in the bank
g) It is not heterosexual
h) he can’t sleep
i) He writes to you so as not to write to the other
l) wait for the coffee to come out of the machine or his girlfriend from the bathroom
m) Who knows
Relationships: something has changed
In short, something has changed, in the universal order: everything that twenty years ago could have been a vague signal, now it is free time.
c) It is true that love has tired everyone. The male then these days is so prevalent, so triumphant winner. The partiarchate has such unbeatable tricks that they have now forced us to invent and enjoy the functions of the strictly smuggled rousecrums for independence: Friends with benefit. O Poliamore see you what name will Garba.
What does it mean? All together passionately, with release to the inferardo male of the authorization not to call. You frequent you and that’s okay, dicunt.
Evidently it is not so good so because then the posters of the heart are clogged with gran-donna-finto-patronage demands on how to manage these beautiful and intense friendships with males without suffering too much or cultivating dreams. In love with it, it is obviously like crime: I am cretin if he then puts herself with another and you had expectations. Usual end, however.
And so we found another way of being doubly cuckold and Mazziate. He wanted it, but we did it. It is understood that the patriarchate will never die. Because we always collaborate everywhere. Obviously ignor of the first law of the markets, especially the sentimental one: it costs nothing, it is worth nothing. And we deliver, as well.
The possibilities to be evaluated
This I wrote some time ago. Now to be even more synthetic and updated, let’s make the column of possibilities.
1) Being alone: you can do it, just don’t complain.
2) getting along with people who want you and don’t want you: you can do it, just don’t complain
3) getting to someone just not to be alone: you can do it, just don’t complain
4) Having relationships with one hundred people per year to enjoy life: it can be done, as long as you don’t complain.
5) Staying with them: it can be done, as long as you don’t complain.
6) Being with people who hurt you more than well: you can do it, just don’t complain
7) Being the benefit of the Friends with benefit: it can be done, just don’t complain.
8) prefer to be not paid but some chat writes it so a little keeps us: it can be done, just don’t complain
9) Waiting ten years to see if something moves in this one -way love: you can do it, just don’t complain.
10) spending life to be undecided, the great love is the center of everything, so I have to look for it forever: it can be done, as long as you don’t complain. Especially if you find it.
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