CIao Ester,
I don’t want to ask you for advice on a relationship that I already know have not a futurebut on me and the sick mechanisms that are activated in my head Every time I feel rejected by a man. Then refused. If I began to have a minimum of self -esteem I would not even approach these individuals and surely I would not use the word “refused”, but I would say: escaped from a very high ditch.
After the free trial period that lasts about three months, when you are unlucky (maybe it ended earlier), full of attention, beautiful words and constant presence, they attack with the usual story of the I do not want a relationship, I still don’t know what to do with my life, but in ten years I want to feel I had all the experiences of the world (as if to take the path of Santiago, for example, magically made you a resolved person; beautiful eh, absolutely nothing against those who do it, but come on, please); In the meantime, however, I like you when I think I and it’s not that I want to stop seeing you: if you want to stay oh, I told you, I was honest. Full barrels and drunk wife.
Although I rationally realize the littleness that I find myself in front of me, I always end up questioning myself, to ask me what the hell is so bizarre in me that everyone runs away.
It is strange, because when I am alone, free from these dynamics, I realize that I am a person of value and with values, with my family, my friends and my sweaty but loved independence.
I exceeded anorexia, A toxic relationship that resulted at times in violence, a choice that I took in the past and that I would never have imagined to do. Yet, every time an homunculus of any homunculus decides to treat myself as a reserve, from option, I forget about that part of myself. I got tired of Ester, and a lot. Is it hunger for love? Do you want to be loved and respected after a long time? Definitely, but I don’t want to allow myself to treat me like this anymore. I want to make that leap, which looks very long, and carefully care about people who, sincerely, do not even deserve to look at me.
I hope to rewrite you in the future with this awareness.
Thank you
THE.
Ester Viola’s answer
Dear L.,
The first thing here is to agree. We must get to a shared point once and for all on the understandable lament of love that is never as we want it. And perhaps more than from love, from a relationship, we must see that we demand from life and others in general.
I make a brief preaching of the type that I can afford, if anyone who spent forty years of age can afford it, and therefore has experienced:
a) imaginary relationships (from moderately imaginary to completely imaginary)
b) Saltello relationships/remote
c) loves with those you like little.
d) normal/happy loves at times
It happens with the age of maturing convictions on a couple of not very contained truths, which helps to live better. Maybe you struggle less. Or if nothing else, to do first.
I’m on your side, L. Life is often better when you are not alone. But clear ideas, my dear. Then stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself “What do I go by finding from love?”. Imagine the human congress of possible relationships such as a shop, I will be your sales employee.
1) I like love, but I would also love my successful solo staff, let’s say
Not bad as an ambition. It is healthy, and love will help. With certain conditions, however. It will serve a balanced and practical person. Not a great sentimental. Almost ruthless people. Love in this case will manifest itself with support and a certain distance. This is the type of love if you like to be in a certain type of couple. Let’s say the type of couple that rarely speaks of the couple. The sentimental part is certainly there, but it is a little backward, Freddina, quite neglected by the participants.
2) feeling to the maximum degree
Love is love. You care little about doing things and seeing people. See the couple as the set of two that allows you to face the things of the world that alone not.
The couple as a resolver: of the unhappy childhood, of the emotional and problematic parent, of youth disorders, of the nuisance to work. The chosen ones are caring samples. Corano and Lisciano every insecurity. The couple as bunker.
There are many candidates. All the good people who have always been selected for the basket of dear friends over the years. Because the tensions are missing, and therefore the subsequent adrenaline. However, the product is highly recommended.
3) Sex. Impossible to have without sex, preferably splendid
More complicated, but also in this case the article has good market offer. Here there are no splashes on the character, it matters little, whether you understand or not it matters very little, indeed incompatible is better. This is a love from athletes. We need the run -up, the clash, betray yourself when needed, not to see each other for a while, to leave, recover. It can also last ten or twenty years. Wanting, forever. We need aggressive ability, it is for the carelessness of pain. The fatigue and bile labor are rewarded by certain half hours that others dream of them. The article is in great demand, but with several returns. It is up to you to burn a couple of times a year like an hysterical phoenix, the systematic subtraction is demanding, it becomes a job.
4) a love with all the characteristics in the catalog would be wonderful
That is: support on the personal side, as an ambitious couple. Affinity of character and a minimum of tensions to give the illusion of loss and renew the desire to be together, not too many because I would not like to ruin the health. Durable sexual interest but without having to fall into the game of betrayals and metaphorical scarring.
All these in the list, all together. A little bit of one and a little of the other would be a perfect love, just like I would like it. Item Not Found.
L. Mia, love is the prototype of a human experiment that we insist on repeating even if the formula never comes out good. But it’s normal, it’s also a beautiful thing, and it happens because healthy people are irreparably deluded.
I woman © RESERVED REPRODUCTION