TOAlongside July 31st, World Orgasm Day is also celebrated on December 21st. Two anniversaries to address a topic, that of the female orgasm, around which there are still many doubts: many, for example, do not know that the achievement of pleasure for some women occurs with a certain stimulation rather than with penetration. Just as, orgasm is not only a physical factor but above all also a mental one. It’s time to break down some taboos.
World Orgasm Day, why we celebrate it
World Orgasm Day in December was promoted in 2006 when two American activists, Paul Reffell and Donna Sheehan, with the Beatles song Come Together they promoted the achievement of a great collective orgasm on the night of the winter solstice. Days and celebrations apart, Around pleasure, especially female pleasure, there are still taboos or even dark spots: «Sex is often shrouded in a veil of mysterytraditions and moralisms. Although we live in an era in which information is within everyone’s reach and issues related to sexuality are treated with ever greater openness in media contexts, Orgasm, especially female orgasm, remains a delicate topic, if not downright taboo. Catholic culture has historically influenced the perception of sex, often relegating it to an exclusive reproductive function and associating it with feelings of guilt and sin. This has contributed to building an imaginary in which pleasure is something private, sometimes unspeakable, and often considered marginal compared to other aspects of sexuality” he explains Frida Affer, sex coach and founder of WOVO.
A stereotyped image that has also been fueled by television and the media in general. «The female orgasm is often represented in a stereotyped way or exclusively as a function of male pleasure. Unrealistic sex scenes, in which female pleasure is taken for granted or achieved instantly, contribute to creating distorted expectations and keeping the topic in the realm of the unspoken” explains the expert. Added to this society which, in general, has contributed to developing some taboos: «The philosopher Herbert Marcuse, in his work Eros and Civilizationanalyzes how the repression of sexuality is functional to the maintenance of social order. According to Marcuse, capitalist societies have sublimated erotic desire, limiting it to forms that are acceptable and useful for production and consumption. In this context, pleasure, especially female pleasure, is marginalized because it represents a form of freedom that escapes the control and rules imposed by society. Marcuse’s idea helps explain why the orgasm taboo persists: recognizing and celebrating pleasure could mean subverting consolidated balances and questioning deep-rooted cultural and social norms».
Taboos and false myths to dispel
Talking about pleasure is not “vulgar and irreverent” but recognizing a fundamental aspect of human nature. Only by normalizing these conversations will we be able to build a society in which sex is no longer a topic to be avoided, but a ground for sharing, respect and authenticity.” But what are the taboos and myths to dispel on the subject?
For example, Female orgasm is thought to be achievable only through penetration. It’s not like that. Or rather, it is not like this for all women: some, in fact, need sex to achieve pleasure clitoral stimulation, it is no coincidence that we talk about clitoral orgasm, and for them penetration is not enough. Behind this difference was also fueled the idea that a woman experiencing this type of pleasure is incomplete or, worse, defective. Obviously this is not the case.
Another myth, much fueled by movies, is that it’s always better reach orgasm together to experience a more intense experience. As many sexologists say, this is not the case. Indeed, achieving it together often means “distracting” yourself from your own personal pleasure. Furthermore, one should not underestimate the power of the brain, which is the main erogenous zone of the body. For this reason, factors such as anxiety, stress, tiredness negatively influence performance, in this case also men.
Another taboo to break down? Thinking that only women can pretend to like it. According to a study conducted by the University of Quebec, and then published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapyon a sample of 230 men between 18 and 29 years old, 30% of them admitted to having faked pleasure at least once during a relationship of at least 4 months. A fundamental result precisely because it is believed that male orgasm is a simple mechanical act, which is why research so far has only been conducted on women. Now it will no longer be like this.
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