TKeeping the first elementary school notebook or a daughter’s christening dress is normal. Keeping the movie ticket because it was your first time out with him is also fine. It starts to go less well if the clothes, notebooks and tickets are all kept. It is true that everyone has their own relationship with order and, consequently, with the accumulation or otherwise of things. But if moving around the house has become a business and everywhere there are “things to keep” or that “you absolutely cannot throw away” then help is needed.
What is disposophobia
Psychologists and psychiatrists call it “disposophobia” and it is a compulsive disorder. The term derives from the union of two words, one English “to dispose” which means to throw away, get rid of something and the other Greek “phòbos”, or phobia. Basically, disposophobia means fear of throwing away. And in fact the constant accumulation of objects is just that. “The problem arises when this tendency to accumulate interferes with normal daily activities, such as personal hygiene, cleaning the house, but also rest or shopping” explains Dr. Paola Mosini, psychologist at Psycho Medical Care Center by Humanitas.
How to understand if hoarding is a disease
If hoarding creates disagreements with other family members, if you keep buying things just for the sake of hoarding them, then need to monitor the situation carefully. If then the difficulty in relating to others is added to the piles of old newspapers, food cartons and more and one no longer knows since the last time the house was tidied up, then the car of a psychologist is really needed. “People who suffer from hoarding disorder or hoarding disorder live in fear of throwing away anything they collect, as they believe it may come in handy in the future or have an economic or sentimental value,” explains the psychologist.
In these cases, psychotherapy is needed
“Some people develop a emotional attachment to objects That it becomes excessive. Just the thought of parting with them generates in them anxiety and anguishso they can’t get rid of it. This is due to fear of making a wrong decision, or the inability to detach oneself from something or someone» clarifies Dr. Mosini. «When faced with certain pathological situations, the cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy» explains the expert. “Often this therapy it also includes a psychoeducation in which the specialist helps the patient (and if necessary also his family members) to develop a greater awareness of the disease. In more serious cases, moreover, they can serve specific drugsi» concludes the psychologist.
Often, when hoarding objects becomes a problem, the intervention of a psychologist is needed and, in more serious cases, a psychiatrist (Getty Images)
If there is nothing pathological about hoarding
If hoarding isn’t a real disease of the mind, but you would really like to get rid of some things, only that in the end you don’t throw anything away, then it’s time to ask for help. «Turning to a coach allows you to clarify yourself and understand what lies behind the accumulation» he explains Gianna of Jerome professional coach, trained inHappiness Academy from Milan. “Furthermore, it’s more motivating because solving problems with someone’s help is always easier. Especially, if this someone has the professional tools to support a person in difficulty» clarifies di Girolamo who is also
professional organiser.
Where to start to stop hoarding
The first thing to do is ask yourself some questions, or rather answer some questions that the coach proposes. “Why is so much stuff piling up? How would your life improve if you stopped keeping everything? If we didn’t have this problem, would we feel better? The emotions we feel speak more than a thousand words. It is our responsibility to listen to them. This is the starting point from which start a coaching journey to overcome the tendency to accumulate» explains the expert.
Collecting is another thing
It’s one thing to have a passion and maybe put together a collection, that is choosing many similar objects because it gives pleasure to see or handle them. Another is to buy duplicates, or in any case stuff that you forget right away. “There the difference is in what you feel: if accumulating creates discomfort, it is advisable to intervene, before being overwhelmed, not only by objects, but by this discomfort» clarifies the coach. “It might be useful keep a diary when you buy an object, or why you weren’t able to throw away that stack of old newspapers» suggests Gianna Di Girolamo. Often behind the mountains of objects there is a void, or an unresolved node from the past. Either an education in accumulation or extreme savings or…
A practical anti hoarding exercise
«Coaching often leads to discover and solve even more. This is why people when they start throwing, then they never stop. And they feel satisfaction in seeing what they have accumulated over the years disappear» explains the expert. «Coaching uses challenges a lot, for example trying to throw away one object a day for a week and write down how you feel before and after. At the end of the exercise, some space will have been made and above all, the sense of liberation and the realization that having put 7 useless things in the garbage did not make the world fall, will give theas a push for change. To continue to get rid of the ballast» clarifies the coach.
«There aren’t exercises that are valid for everyone, but tailored to the person, his problems, understanding where he is at that moment and where he wants to go. Each path is different from the other.
A strategy to start throwing
«You can divide the house into rooms to clean up… Then each room into various pieces of furniture, and each piece of furniture into drawers or shelves. It’s useful to choose even just half an hour a week, but you need a precise moment to start throwing away» suggests the coach. Until one drawer is in order, you don’t move on to the next. The time dedicated to clearing can be increased each week. «It will be natural to continue, because you will get satisfaction from your workit will be discovered that little by little one can make great strides forward and thus self-esteem will increase» concludes the coach… And it will no longer be necessary to buy something extra to feel like someone.
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