“I had somewhat adopted the Danish mentality: you start early, at 7:30 am. But you are free again at 4:00 pm at the latest. And no one expects you to still be busy with work outside working hours. That appealed to me at the time.”
When her boyfriend also indicates that he is reluctant to leave for the Netherlands, Maatjes makes the decision. “I then thought very carefully: do I want to go to Denmark or do I want to go to the Netherlands? Because I don’t want to live somewhere dependent on my relationship. I knew: whatever I decide now, that is where I will build my life.”
Her choice falls on Denmark. “That also has to do with the fact that I come from the Northern Netherlands. This place in Denmark reminds me very much of Drenthe. A down-to-earth way of looking at life. And I always thought: if I return to the Netherlands with my education, I will actually have to go to the Randstad to find work. I would not be able to settle in there at all.”
To this day, Maatjes does not regret her choice and the couple now has a daughter and son. “I don’t miss the Netherlands, but I do miss the Dutch,” she says. “Just have a chat with someone, for example, or make a comment. If someone does, I think: hey, hey, I’m home now. That cozy feeling feels very familiar.”
Living half a day’s drive from the Netherlands, Maatjes still visits Drenthe regularly. Also at Christmas. “One year we celebrate it in Denmark, the next year in the Netherlands. Then we rent a house, take our fake Christmas tree and have dinner there with my family.”
But this year Christmas will be celebrated in Denmark, with her boyfriend’s family. “I really live for that, because I have completely adopted the Danish Christmas. With all the traditions that go with it.” Yet the lack of family remains. “I can’t have coffee with my sister, that loss is still there. And it would be nicer if my children lived closer to my brother and sister. But that’s just how our life looks and I see many other advantages.”
Leaving home and hearth for a new life abroad forces you to trust, Maatjes sees afterwards. “You learn to trust that everything will turn out fine and that everything will work out. There are always helpful people to be found.”