The story must be told because their grandchildren Isa and Teun must never be forgotten. “And that will never happen,” Marjanne and her husband Marcel are one hundred percent sure. But how difficult it is for them to go back to August 12, 2023 and February 12, 2024. The sadness for their still-born granddaughter and grandson is still immense.
They were overjoyed when they heard that a grandchild was on the way. And that their grandson Bram, almost six, and granddaughter Veerle, almost four, would have a brother or sister. Expanding the family was the fervent wish of their daughter Rosalie and son-in-law Maikel. But things turned out differently.
“We were on holiday when Marcel received a call from Rosalie on August 12 after she had been to the gynaecologist. He turned pale and then you know, this is bad news. Isa was no longer alive. We packed our things and drove home. What should you say when you see all that sadness? Find words for it. The sad thing is that Rosalie had heard Isa’s heartbeat a day earlier, together with Bram and Veerle,” says Marjanne. emotional.
Total desperation. That perhaps best describes the situation that Marjanne and Marcel found. “On top of all the sadness, there was the fact that Rosalie could not give birth immediately. And had to wait a few days before she could go to the hospital.”
According to Marjanne, it is almost impossible to imagine how difficult that was for her. “And how do you explain to your children that their sister came home to me, but is no longer alive? Something they did in a fantastic way.”
“That was difficult for Rosalie to accept, because what can you do with that? Nothing.”
There was also the question: Why did this happen? What went wrong? “That indeed made it even more difficult. There was no explanation. The doctor called it bad luck. That was difficult for Rosalie to accept, because what can you do with that? Nothing. ‘If only you could have seen something in her,’ she kept saying. But yes, that was not the case. Because Isa was perfect, so beautiful.”
In the days after the birth, friends and family said goodbye to Isa in peace. Marjanne gets angry when she thinks about it.
“I saw that little girl, held her and saw her lying in that wicker basket. What that does to you is simply indescribable. At the same time, it was also a beautiful period. It was wonderful to see how our son, family, all of Rosalie and Maikel’s friends were there for them. A very great comfort.”
A few months later, Marjanne and Marcel hear that Rosalie is pregnant again. There is joy, absolutely. But, Marjanne honestly admits, also fear. “Of course you’re happy. But you’re also scared. You know you shouldn’t think like that, but you do.”
Almost six months after Isa’s stillbirth, Marjanne was standing in the schoolyard on February 12, 2024 to pick up grandson Bram when she received a call from Rosalie. She is then sixteen weeks pregnant with Teun. “It was wrong again. And well, how can I explain what goes through your mind? Again those questions: why? Why does this happen for the second time? How should we do this? How should we see that our child is experiencing so much sadness again? You are going through hell.”
Once again, the gynecologist is left without the answers to all those questions. There was simply no explanation. “I was not only sad, but honestly angry. Angry about the injustice, angry because no one could explain it.” They feel incredibly blessed to have two precious grandchildren. “But giving up two grandchildren? That’s simply not possible.”
“It made me cry and laugh at the same time.”
Marjanne tells how the two young children Bram and Veerle also experienced the sadness. “They certainly felt it. They also cried for their sister and brother.”
But she also likes to experience how they look at it in their own way. “Very down to earth sometimes. I won’t forget that a plane flew over and that little Veerle looked up and said: ‘Well, Isa and Teun are lucky, they can go on that plane’. That was so moving, it actually made me cry and laugh at the same time.”
Rosalie and Maikel are doing their best, Marjanne says, but they are having a hard time. “They do everything they can to make the best of it together with Bram and Veerle, for example by doing lots of fun things with the children. And to ensure that the two are not constantly surrounded by sadness. And I think they do that very well, although some days go better than others.”
Picking up the thread of life again and doing ‘normal’ things is not that easy, Marjanne explains. “I understand it so well when Rosalie says that she has to go to a children’s party and doesn’t actually have the energy for that.”
She tries to help Rosalie and encourage her to cross a certain threshold. “But who are we to decide that for her? A little guidance is possible, but not too much. It is mainly a matter of being there.”
“I also think it has made us stronger as a family.”
Their lives will never be the same again and Marjanne and Marcel realize that very well. “The loss of our two grandchildren and the grief of Rosalie and Maikel still hurts terribly and still leaves its mark. But I also think that it has made us stronger as a family.”
In the meantime, Isa and Teun are everywhere and always present, through drawings, cards and balloons. “When people ask how many grandchildren we have, I always say four. Of course four! Two darlings here and two sweet stars in the sky.”