Nothe world of work authentic gratitude is a surprisingly rare element: often perceived as a private or informal gesture, is relegated to the margins of daily practices. There are psychological and cultural roots that bring people to especially notice what doesn’t workneglecting what sustains the work every day. Let’s see together how cultivate authentic gratitude — not superficial, not instrumental — can transform the quality of relationshipsi, strengthen cooperation e promote a culture of care.
Dear Monica, I recently became manager of a team, a goal that I achieved with great commitment and enthusiasm. Yet, today I find myself disoriented: my day is constantly dealing with problems, receiving outbursts and negativity from both my collaborators and my managers. I understand that managing difficulties is part of the role and I try to do it as best I can, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed, as if they only saw me as a collection point for critical issues. I wonder why we are so quick to criticize and so unaccustomed to recognizing what works or has been done well, or to sharing successes and the support received. I’m writing to understand if it happens to others too: feeling crushed in a much desired role, worn out by the absence of gratitude and comparison.
Georgie
The answer from Monica Magri, work expert
Dear Giorgia, indeed the word gratitude it is often absent in the world of work and it appears as something private, individual. Yet, today more than ever – and precisely in the organizational context – gratitude it can become a capable relational and cultural attitude to positively influence the way we live and perceive our days.
Why do we see more of what is missing in work environments than what works?
If we think about it, people notice, discuss and point out what doesn’t work very quicklywhile they rarely give voice to what is going well. The positive slips into the territory of the obvious; the negative — and the complaint — take up space and attention.
Because recognizing what is missing is so immediate and naturalwhile valorising what is there seems almost counter-cultural?
Is called “negativity bias”: a neurobiological predisposition that leads us to react more intensely to negative stimuli than to positive ones. In the world of work this translates into concrete behaviors:
- problems capture attention with more force than successes;
- what works becomes silentalmost invisible, therefore not worthy of note;
- organizational culture tends to normalize the positive and amplify the negative.
Reversing this trend requires intentionality: we need to train a different way of looking at work, not to ignore problems, but to balance perception.
Gratitude at work does not deny problems: it broadens the perspective, shifts attention to what works and brings out those who contribute even silently. (Getty Images)
Because gratitude is a great resource in the world of work
More and more studies — particularly in the field of positive psychology — show that practicing gratitude increases psychological well-beingstrengthens resilience, improves relational skills and stimulates cooperation.
Applied to work, this dynamic creates a culture of reciprocity: the act of thanking becomes energy that generates motivation, loyalty and a sense of belonging. A team that cultivates gratitude is more open, curious and cooperative.
Introducing gratitude into organizations it means promoting a form of care: care for relationships, energies, internal narratives. It’s a simple act, but potentially transformative.
Gratitude does not negate problems: broaden your perspectivealso shifts attention to what works, to what supports daily work and brings out those who contribute even silently.
It makes visible the micro-acts of care that hold teams together: information shared, help offered without being asked for, feedback given with respect.
This change of gaze generates psychological fruitfulness:
- resources appear more abundant and actionable;
- relationships are not just operational channels, but places of exchange;
- the results do not seem to be the product of an isolated individual, but of a collective fabric.
Genuine gratitude towards instrumental recognition
At work it is fundamental distinguish genuine gratitude from instrumental recognition.
Recognition it often risks becoming a formal act: a mention, an applause in a meeting, a “thank you” in a post. Useful gestures, of course, but not always capable of really talking about the relationship. They have their function, but only if consistent with the behaviors performed. Gratitude says: “I notice your contribution, your commitment, your way of being there, even when it is not requested and is not measured.”
It is a recognition that it doesn’t come after the result, but in the relationship. It’s about what happens every day:
- a colleague who shares information at the right time;
- a manager who listen carefully even when you have little time;
- someone who takes care of the team climate without appearing in any job description.
The long-term consequences of fake gratitude
Fake gratitude isn’t just useless: it’s erosive. In the short term the façade holds; in the long run it undermines the cultural foundations of the organization. When people perceive that “thank yous” are protocol, they learn not to trust. A silent distance is created: words lose weight, engagement initiatives become empty.
A manager who thanks randomly, because he has to or using pre-packaged sentences quickly loses authority.
If the recognition is generic, interchangeable, window-dressing, the perceived contribution also becomes such.
The risk? Disinvestment, “quiet quitting”, operational apathy.
How to recognize a culture that cultivates authentic gratitude
An organizational culture that knows how to express gratitude in a genuine way shows clear and observable signals:
- Specificity in the recognitions: the “thanks” are detailed, they talk about the action, the context, the person. They are not slogans.
- Presence at key moments: authentic gratitude does not only come in celebratory moments; it is distributed, it arrives when needed, when it happens.
- Legitimized humanity: saying thank you and demonstrating it even on an emotional level is not perceived as weakness, but as relational competence.
- Spontaneous reciprocity: people help themselves because they know they are in a system that recognizes what they do. Authentic gratitude generates a generative spiral: the more it is practiced, the more natural it becomes.
Gratitude: a word for the culture of care
Gratitude is a form of caring: restores dignity to everyone’s contributions, recognizes effort, presence, good intentions. It is the invisible language that nourishes trust and holds human systems together.
Gratitude is a choice to be exercised. AND, in an era marked by complexity and constant pressurethis choice can make the difference between an environment that consumes and one that grows.
The hope is that the future of work will not only be measured in the objectives achieved, but also in the quality of recognition that circulates between people.