Loneliness has many faces. In the photo exhibition about loneliness in the town hall of Emmen, four people tell their story. One of them is Annie Verburg (86) from Roswinkel. “Then you lie in bed in the morning and you think: why would I get up? But then I tell myself: to stop, get up, start!”
Annie has been living in Drenthe for two years and lives with her daughter Diana, who has an animal shelter. However, she spent most of her life in Zeeland, including in Goes and the small village of Katendijke.
“It was quiet there,” she says. “We had a beautiful house, a large yard, and animals to take care of.” Johan was a car mechanic and she worked until she was sixty in the gymnastics world in Zeeland. There is also an animal shelter, a hobby of her daughter, who got out of hand, she says.
And that was not a small thing: the family caught more than 500 animals every year, including rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters and other small animals. “We did everything together. The care, the collection of animals, and even selling things at flea markets to raise money for food.”
But in 2010 the family had a hard blow. Johan unexpectedly dies in his sleep of a cardiac arrest. “I found him in bed in the morning. And I got angry. That he just let us down. That’s how it felt at that moment,” says Annie Open. “Seems to be a normal reaction, but it struck me. I didn’t know what to do with that anger.”
With his death, not only her partner, but also her entire day, disappeared. They were unable to continue the reception due to adjusted regulations. The run -up to people fell away, and with that also the liveliness in the house.
And then she realized something she had never really felt until then: loneliness. “That I was staring through the window and day I pass trees and occasionally a car pass by. And you are largely only inside.”
That loneliness was no less with time. Friends fell away. “In the year my husband died, seven other funerals and cremations were added.” In the following years, the circle around Annie is also becoming smaller. “I come from a family where there was no talk. My mother died when I was fourteen, and my father quickly remarried. With my step sisters I always felt an outsider.” She is not used to sharing her worries, she says.
Her daughter, who now lived in Drenthe and had her own animal shelter, eventually suggested moving north. “She said,” I can’t drive to Zeeland for 3.5 hours every week. Why don’t you move? “
Although she now feels reasonably well in her place in Drenthe, the feeling of loneliness has never completely disappeared. “Even if I am not alone at home, I can feel lonely. My daughter also has her life with her responsibilities. And I don’t think she should stay at home for me.”
Still Annie tries to make something of her days. “I try to participate in things. Coffee mornings in the Village House De Badde, creative afternoons, Bingo. Not that I am so creative, but it’s about contact. Being among people.”
She also reads a lot and especially ‘flutromans’, as she calls them. “I love reading. When I got breast cancer and had to be operated on, those booklets were a solution. You don’t have to think about it. You can dream away. From Baantjer to Bouquet series, I read everything. And thanks to Facebook I suddenly had half a library of people from the neighborhood.”
She is now also known in the thrift stores and in fairs. “It’s nice to have something to do. Without a goal it gets tough. Then you’re in bed in the morning and you think: why would I get up? But then I tell myself: to stop, get up, start!”
Her participation in the exhibition comes from spontaneity rather than the desire to share her experiences, she honestly acknowledges. “I was on such a creative afternoon when they asked if I wanted to participate. And I have trouble saying no,” she laughs.
Yet she hopes that others will benefit from her experiences. “I hope my story brings something to others. That someone thinks: maybe I should go to such a coffee moment. You have to do something, no matter how small.” Because just sit inside and staring outside? “Nobody gets better.”