Femicide, which means briefly women’s murder, is very common in the Netherlands. This week a woman from Eindhoven was shot in Gouda, the suspect is her ex-husband. According to Stichting Veilig Thuis, the number of women’s murders in our country has been ‘considerably higher’ since 2017 than in our neighboring countries. It is a headache file for care providers and lawyers, but especially for victims and relatives. How is it possible that despite all red flags, worries and signals, things can still go wrong?
Just to start with hard figures: a woman is killed every eight days in the Netherlands. In many cases of femicide, the perpetrator is a partner or ex-partner, but it can also be a family member, knowledge or even an unknown woman.
Last week the alarm bells went off in Gouda. A Eindhoven woman was shot in broad daylight. The shooter? That was probably her ex-husband. The Public Prosecution Service announced that it will ‘certainly’ take femicide into account. The woman is said to have been in hiding in a stay-of-my-body house and the man was arrested a month ago for possession of weapons and mistreatment of the woman.
“We actually come across this kind of thing,” says Jenai van Breda. She works as a behavioral expert at De Poort in Goirle, a crisis shelter for women, men and children who are no longer safe at home. “For example, because a woman has less and less contact with friends and family, or is isolated from the outside world. Staying inside, stalking and the abuse: all are the signs of femicide. All red flags.”
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But that’s where the problem comes. Many of those red flags are legally complicated. “It is a worldwide problem, but in the Netherlands the protective equipment is more moderate, in terms of investigation,” explains Van Breda. “This is mainly about what you can show in the courtroom. You can say that you are being threatened, but do you also have proof?”
In the run -up to a femicide case, it often comes to all kinds of ‘loose’ criminal cases. Affairs for stalking, threat or abuse, but without anyone going into jail for years. Eventually it goes up to a terrible, deadly climax. And then it’s too late. “The Netherlands is now falling in it. They are looking for factual evidence, while psychological violence cannot always be demonstrated. That must be done differently.”
“It is so important not to judge.”
According to Van Breda, the biggest problem is in all of us: how we look at men and women. Men are seen as tough and dominant, women as weaker. “You can even see that by responding to victims.” Why didn’t you leave him before? “You hear. While it is so important not to judge.”
According to the expert, the solution is partly in a piece of education. “We have to start a conversation with each other more and teach it at school.” Because as long as women are seen as submissive, this problem continues to occur. It’s in our system.
“It really occurs in all layers of society.”
Then it really doesn’t matter where your crib is. “Femicide really occurs in all layers of society,” says Van Breda. No profile is the same. Culture does not matter, background or education. Only that all perpetrators have already done partner violence before.
According to the expert, the perpetrators are about coercion. To let someone do what you want them to do. Stay with you. Don’t leave. And not being able to accept that something is not going the way you want. But as long as the idea lives that a woman has to listen and the man has the upper hand, femicide remains a problem. Every eight days.
“The most important thing is that you don’t let go of the victim.”
Is our society lost now? No, not. If you suspect that you, or someone you know, will be surrounded by these red flags, then there are steps that you can take. “For example, go to the police, to safe home or a shelter. But the most important thing is that you don’t let go of the victim. Don’t judge, but just listen and ask questions,” says Van Breda.
Do you recognize an omen of femicide in yourself or someone who is close to you? There is help. Anonymous chat or call Via this link.