Ci are those who eat only in whiteno sauces («what a disgust»), and no vegetables, for heaven’s sake. And then the “children bis”, those who always ask for foodagain and again. And the parents, next to it, to encourage them (“at least tasted, come on!”, Perhaps chasing them around the house with the fork in hand), and trying to put a brake on others: “You can’t still hungry, now enough”. We are mothers and fathers in difficulty, men and women (above all?) Who know the problems related to the food of our time. From eating disordersanorexia in the first place, also in pre -adolescent and pediatric age. To obesity, even childish. But does it make sense to worry about it? And what? We asked Pamela Pace, psychotherapist and psychoanalystwhich has been dealing with the theme for almost 20 years.
Eating disorders in children on the rise: Pollicino data
President of thePollicino Onlus Association – which promotes Prevention and intervention initiatives on the psychological discomfort in evolutionary age and in particular on the disorders of food behavior from 0 to 16 years, Pamela Pace in 2009 wrote Feed me, that of the association is a sort of manifesto. And that was republished in 2021 to also tell what has changed in recent years.
And it continues to change. From 2021 to today, the Pollicino National Observatory has recorded an exacerbation of Food refusal paintings between 0 and 5 years (+10% of situations in which children do not accept even liquid foods and water), with an increase in hospitalizations of 62%.
Between 6 and 9 years there is an increase in paintings of eating and nutrition disorders (+38%), anxiety paintings, with phobias and relational problems (+27%). Cases of Prepuberal anorexies (10/11 years, + 30%)serious problems relating to the body image.
In the age group 4-10 years they grew by 63% the DNA, Disorders of nutrition and ofPower supply and cases of Arfid, Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, a tenacious prolonged food selectivity over time (they are Children who eat only two or three types of foodand that’s it). The paintings of strong anxiety such as Anginophobia and Fagophobia (fear of swallowing), emitophobia (fear of vomiting), hyperphagia are also increasing.
Children, from “whims” to the table to eating disorders: what’s behind?
And yet, he puts on peace, there is a difference between these real eating disorders and those who are “only” of the inconveniences. That is, of the “inadequate behaviors concerning food but transient and not accompanied by other manifestations of malaise», Explains peace. «On the contrary, in eating disorders the opposition, refusal or voracious research of the food have long lasting and are obstinate. And they are related to disorders in other sectors and functions, such as sleep, the relationship with others, the game, the relationship with the school and the study ». In short, they are pieces of psychological suffering.
However, even the inconveniences are not to be overlooked.
The link between food and power, since childhood
«The food function was born, from the very first childhood, within a relationship: that is, that between the newborn and the mother who breastfeeds him», Explains peace. The need for food and hunger for love immediately overlap at the time of the meal And, often, they end up getting confused. With growth, the parents themselves risk in good faith, with their words and their attitudes to consolidate intuition: that messages can be conveyed through food. That food is not only food but the tool of power.
It happens, for example and trivially, when trying to stem the “whims” at the table with blackmail or emotional logic. “If you finish everything, then I’ll take you to the park.” Or “if you leave him I get angry” or “the mother cries”.
Insistence always generates resistance
«These operations pass to the boy and the girl the message that the table e food involve the possibility of power of the other about him or her », explains the psychotherapist. “Power that the child then uses in turn”.
The inconveniences stiffen, therefore, starting from the response of the environment, which is mainly the family environment. An answer that, the more anxious and worried, the more it risks being wrong.
The great child psychoanalyst wrote it in the 20s Melanie Klein: very early it is possible to observe a directly proportional relationship between The anxiety of that mother that her daughter eat that food there and the refusal of that little girl compared to that food. He summarizes him perfectly the Dr. Pace: “Insistence always generates resistance».
The “whims” with children’s food: a message to be intercepted and translated
The Pollicino team has always been close to worried parents. And if they are it is of course also because they are aware of the issues that revolve around food and body in this time Present: in the social, institutional, familiar discourse. “Children are like sponges today and, much more than a time, use the table to convey their messages.” AND There is always a message, hidden even in the simplest food discomfort: a message that awaits someone who intercepts him, translates it.
The Pollicino Observatory notes that Already at 5-6 years old girls (above all) build within themselves a link between eating and aesthetics. First it happened around 8-9 years. Often it happens because they hear speeches, maybe at school. If they propose them at home it is perhaps even just to see what mom and dad reply.
What can be behind us?
And “however any provocation, including this, conveys the voice of that little girl: something that this child is saying and that perhaps does not understand completely. Here you are, It is important that you don’t let this voice fall», Pace continues. Children attract attention, but if they attract it it is never on a whim, but because they conceal something there.
“The task of each parent is then of give voice to the message: through the word, but also with the game and drawing. Invite the child to express his inner world and then welcome him without judgment ». In this world, at the origin of the discomfort, it could be a friendly friend of the heart, the difficult relationship with the smallest little brother, the frustration of not knowing how to do something as you would like.
In general, these inconveniences and disorders touch two fundamental themes.
1. What do I have in your desire?
“The first is the need to express the difference between the plan of needs, like hunger and needs of the organic body, and the plan of desire. A plan, this, which does not only concern the good that dad and mom wants him. But The place that the child occupies in the desire of the parents. It applies to all eating disorders, from 0 to 100 years: they all go to the heart of the question of love, which is: “Can you miss me?” “Do you think about me?” “I come before or after your work, your money, your success, your team?” Refer to the recognition of a value. In the 1950s, the great pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott wrote it. ” The doubt is not on the affection, but on its place in the other. A doubt that is translated in doubt compared to food.
2. Children and the effort of growing up
The second question that can be hidden in a pediatric food discomfort concerns «The great labors that the growth path entails. The fears, the anxieties, the frustrations, the acceptance of the limits. And this especially today, with The new parents less and less convinced of keeping a regulatory position», The doctor continues.
But the responses of father and mother, once the question is put a little focus, “cannot take place on the food level, because The risk is that the moment of meals become saturated with more». A risk not to run.
Tips for worried parents: instead of the usual dinner, a picnic
The suggestion of Dr. Pace, is then, on the contrary, of Discontructure the moment of the meal. «They called me Dr. Picnic … but I still recommend it. Every now and then do a picnic: Sitting on the ground in the living room, with music, bowls and children who eat with their hands ». The goal is to parade food from that network of meanings that above it.
Another suggestion, which peace “steals” to a pediatrician consultant of Pollicino, is that of put the serving dishes on the table: bowls and salads from which children can independently use. “The goal is to go from nutrition, in which there is another that nourishes, to feed».
In our families, children feel that there is an insistence on food speech: hence the healthy food, what is good, beyond food crap. “Here you arethe more it is implemented as an object of value, of importance, the more the food is charged with meanings. Of course it can be said that vegetables are good and milk strengthens the bones, but I believe it is much more important to focus on other values, from sport to reading, from music to animals ».
In other words, It is helping our children distract themselves from food as a value that we can help them recover a natural and healthy relationship with the tablewithout discomfort.
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