Vthe most recent news events are more and more often talking about Red Flag in a sentimental relationship, those behaviors that should make us resonate in ourselves. In fact, these are behaviors, attitudes, but also express judgments or things said that they make uncomfortable, they do not feel calm and even create anxiety. This is the first, and perhaps more important, a consequence to be considered to recognize them.
Red Flag, the “red flags” in a sentimental relationship
In psychology, The Red Flag are real alarm bellsattitudes that underline toxic behaviors within interpersonal relationships, especially if sentimental. And they are the exact opposite of the green flags. These “red flags” they can appear at any time of the relationshipnot necessarily from the beginning, indeed: «When we talk about Red Flag we mean those signs that warn us that something, in a relationship, may not do it well. They are alarm bells not to be underestimated, even if it is not always easy to recognize them immediately. Each relationship is unique, just as our feeling is, for this There is no universal list of behaviors to avoid»Explains the Dr. Lucrezia Navarra, psychologist and clinical psychologist, also specialized in legal psychology.
As the expert points out, all those attitudes that they place bays for an unhealthy relationship As, for example, to undermine their freedoms including to prevent you from seeing certain people or wearing certain clothes. But “what is fundamental is not so much to make a list of behaviors not to have what we listen to how we feel. A healthy relationship does not make us live with fear or sense of guilt. If we feel constantly put to the test, checked or devalued, that is the real signal to be grasped. And we must not wait for the situation to be worse to take him seriously ». Obviously, the border is then the violence: whether it is physical, verbal, psychology or economic, this is the border that must never be overcome. For this, as the expert explains, It is essential to learn to recognize these behaviors to give importance to one’s well -being «It is not weakness to move away from those who make us feel less free or not safe; On the contrary, it is the first step to choose relationships that make us really feel good ».
Because fundamental never underestimate the Red Flag
In addition to how you feel within the relationship, it is essential to recognize these behaviors and never support them for another reason: «How psychologist Leonor Walker teaches us, Violence in relationships often follows a cyclical trend. At the beginning there is what is called the phase of the “honeymoon”, in which everything seems perfect, idyllic. Then, slowly, small signs begin to emerge: quarrels, tensions, behaviors that we can recognize as Red Flag. At this stage, attempts to control, humiliations, anger with difficulty detained can occur. As long as you get to the actual outbreak: the dispute, the violence, verbal or physical that it is ». To all this, the partner’s apologies usually follow, which leave astonished and are the ones who usually push to remain and to carry on the relationship.
«Very often in fact We think, and hopefully, that it has simply been an isolated episodethat the situation will certainly change and certainly does not fall back. Instead, It is only the beginning of the so -called spiral, over time the tensions and violent episodes not only repeat themselves, but become increasingly serious and dangerous. That’s why it is fundamental Recognize immediately also the signals that may seem trivial “.
For example, what are they? “Check the mobile phone or excessively jealous behavior They are often underestimated signals but that can be the beginning of situations that worsen over time. In these cases, It is important to stop and look for a comparison with the partner: to understand if there is willingness to changeto work together to build a healthier relationship. If, on the other hand, there are already forms of violence, the priority is only one: getting safe. Listening to these signals and taking them seriously means protecting yourself. Nobody should accept to live in a relationship that hurts, and no sign of malaise should ever be ignored».
Recognize “red flag” behaviors in time
It is therefore essential to recognize these behaviors which, first of all, must not be underestimated. For this, as the doctor explains, it is also important rely on one’s sensations, emotions, to what one’s body transmits: If for example, you often feel anxiously, guilty, you feel discomfort to stay with the other person then it is appropriate to stop.
Another fundamental help is what close people can give: «Friends, family, people external to the relationship often see with more lucidity what we, emotionally involved, are struggling to recognize. It is useful to pay attention to what they tell us, especially if more voices begin to report that something does not seem healthy or respectful. It is not always easy to accept it, but having an external look can show us aspects that we are minimizing or justifying ».
Finally, ask yourself and answer honestly to questions: do we feel supported or judged? Stronger or more insecure? Fun or more controlled?. A healthy relationship, in fact, should make us feel good with ourselves and not on the defensive or on alert. Recognizing and being honest with themselves regarding certain behaviors is essential to protect yourself.
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