C‘is always a face that remains in the shadows, a voice that history forgets. In the legend of Buddha, that face belongs to Yasodhara, the young wife who Prince Siddhartha Gautama abandons in a silent night, while the palace sleeps and little Rahula, the newborn son, rests in the cradle. Not everyone knows the future “Awakened”, before becoming a spiritual guide, he had been a devoted husband, loved and in love. And then, to follow his mission, he did not hesitate to leave his family, but above all the love of his life.
Childhood companion, confidante, mother of his only child, Yasodhara was the first to sense the concerns which would have pushed Siddhartha to give up everything. His presence was decisive. In supporting him, however, he paid a very high price. Yet, for centuries, his figure remained in the background: a discreet shadow, little more than a footnote in the Buddha’s biography. THEHis story appears for the first time 1500 years ago ago in the Jatakanidana, the ancient texts that hand down episodes from the life of the Buddha.
Vanessa R. Sasson’s book, Hidden Light – The story of Yasodhara, the woman who loved the Buddha
The latest to take up the ranks now is the Canadian scholar Vanessa R. Sasson, who in Hidden Light – The story of Yasodhara, the woman who loved the Buddha (Ubiliber) restores dignity and voice to this protagonist who also became one of the first Buddhist nuns in the world: Yasodhara, the woman who Buddha left, but he knew how to illuminate his own path. The prince’s favorite companion Yasodhara and Siddharta are destined for a life together from birth: they come into the world on the same day, it is said on April 8, in Lumbini, Nepal, between the 6th and 5th centuries BC
They are cousins, she belongs to the Koliya clan, he to the Śākya clan. The mother of the future Buddha, Queen Maya, is Yasodhara’s aunt: she died in childbirth seven days after Siddhartha’s birth. Maya’s sister, Mahapajapati, will raise him. Beautiful, intelligent, trained in the arts and meditation, skilled in horse riding, Yasodhara becomes the prince’s favorite companion over the years. Her name means “bringer of glory” and already seems to guard a destiny. That of those who resist silently and do not let themselves be crushed by an imposed fate.
Yasodhara and Buddha, a love born 1500 years ago
It is she who remains next to the young nobleman, throughout his youth, within the walls of the palace. While Siddhartha’s brothers – the cruel Devadatta and the docile Nanda – are free to cross the palace walls, Siddhartha is kept sheltered: King Suddhodana wants to preserve him and protect him from all suffering and temptation after the astrologers, at his birth, prophesied for that firstborn a destiny very different from that of king.
At 16 the two boys discover that they love each other. Marriage is needed to seal the agreement. Tradition dictates that a prince must overcome challenges of skill and strength with other suitors. Siddhartha wins the archery competition in 12 different ways surprising everyone and Yasodhara can become his wife. The celebration lasts a week with dances, drum rolls and large banquets. The chronicles speak, over time, of a happy marriage, made of complicity and tenderness: the two spouses never separate.
Yasodhara, devoted wife
There is only one shadow in the union: over the years Yasodhara is unable to give her husband a child. In the India of the time it was a silent and painful guilt, a mark that brought with it looks of judgment and melancholy. Especially among the crowded rooms of the Palace, among maids and ladies-in-waiting always ready to satisfy the prince. And a king who only thinks about hereditary transmission. Yet, between the two, there remains a rare intimacy.
When a restless Siddhartha begins to secretly leave the Palace on horseback, it is often with Yasodhara at his side. Those are precisely the escapes which, as legend has it, opened his gaze to suffering for the first time: an old farmer, a sick man, a corpse and an ascetic. He confides in her, and she responds with simple wisdom: «We live, we die, and in between we suffer. It’s the natural course of things.” Siddhartha, however, is not satisfied, he does not give up, he wants profound explanations, to understand why he suffers. She supports him in his reasoning and in his movements, until he discovers that he is expecting a child.
Twelve years of waiting for her son
The Ba Vang Buddhist temple in Vietnam. The wedding between Siddharta and Yasodhara.
The joy is enormous, Siddhartha is ecstatic, they had to wait 12 years for that moment: yet for them – as a couple – it will be the beginning of the end. They are both 29 years old. When Rahula is born, it is the maids who take care of Yasodhara. The young prince, however, does not appear in the following hours. And what should be iThe happiest day of a young family turns into a turning point that changes the destiny of the world: Siddhartha, at night, observes his wife and son sleeping and, without waking them, abandons everything to reach the forest. Not a greeting, not a kiss.
The departure, the Great Renunciation, will be the only thing he will not confide in his wife. The Days of Great Sadness Yasodhara is too exhausted from childbirth to realize her absence. But soon, among the handmaids, the rumor spreads and becomes a sword that pierces them: “The prince has run away, he has left his wife and son” they whisper.
Yasodhara doesn’t understand why she is being left
His life changes in an instant. Bent over in pain, she starts running along the corridors, reaches the park, wakes up Channa, the trusted coachman, wanting to know where she has taken her husband. He is driven to the edge of the king’s lands. He cries every tear, then bows to the facts. Buddhist texts speak of the Great Sadness. The news of the time paints her as a wounded young woman, without a role anymore. Despite the pain and public humiliation, Yasodhara does not remarry.
She raises Rahula alone inside the Palace. Yasodhara, writes Vanessa R. Sassoon, paradoxically addresses suffering: “While her husband wandered through the forest trying to remedy it, she experienced what he was trying to understand.” (i.e. the Four Noble Truths: life is suffering; suffering arises from desire and attachment; it can be overcome; and the path to liberation is the Noble Eightfold Path, ed.). After seven years, the young princess is also deprived of her son.
The most painful renunciation for Buddha’s wife
It will be “his” prince who “claims” Rahula. When he returns to the palace, to Kapilavastu, she understands that he has come to get him to be ordained as a novice by the disciple Sāriputta. He doesn’t rebel: he is no longer the husband, but a Master. Her son Rahula, intrigued by that monk with the shaved head and orange robes, asks his mother for explanations. She tells him: “He’s your father, go, he’s waiting for you.” Yasodhara, some time later, in turn chooses renunciation: she enters the community of bhikkhuni, the first Buddhist nuns in history.
And it is Mahapajapati, the aunt who raised the prince, who leads a group of women (it is said to be 50) into the forest. The Indian narrative tells of a very difficult ordeal, in a dangerous place full of dangers and wild animals. And when Buddha does not accept their request three times, it is easy to imagine the discouragement.
Buddha says yes to Buddhist nuns
It is only thanks to the intercession of his disciple Ānanda that the Awakened One accepts. Ānanda asks him if women were capable, like men, of achieving enlightenment. The Buddha replies that they could achieve it, of course. At that point, Ānanda pointed out that there was therefore no reason to deny them ordination. The road is traced. That “yes” to women was something unprecedented and surprising in the society of the time.
The Enlightened One, however, imposes the so-called Garudhamma or “eight heavy rules”. Among these, the fact that a nun, although ordained for a long time, must always pay homage to a monk, even if ordained for only one day. These are the social conditions of that time. His silence is not resignation, but strength Reletta today, the story of Yasodhara is not just about religion or legend, but about female resilience and commitment.
Yasodhara speaks to contemporary women
She is not only the Buddha’s wife, but a woman who transforms abandonment into search, solitude into freedom. It does not hide behind the shadow of a great man, but is filled with his light, his voice. And perhaps, today more than ever, Yasodhara also speaks to contemporary women: to those who find themselves starting over, to those who choose to walk alone.
If for Siddhartha leaving the palace means giving up an external world, for Yasodhara the renunciation is internal: she learns to let go of ties, wounds, memories. His silence is not resignation, but strength. She doesn’t lash out against the man who abandoned her: she sets out on her own path, with other women, towards the same goal.