You are in a large room at a busy conference. Someone kindly comes at you smiling to start a conversation. But instead of staying at an appropriate distance, he comes so close that you can smell his perfume. Uncomfortably you take a step back.
At such moments we suddenly feel that invisible bubble around us: our personal space. That zone determines who can get close to, and acts as a kind of social compass. How large that space is, differs per person – why?
According to Michael Varnum, evolutionary psychologist at Arizona State University, that is difficult to answer. “Human behavior is complex. Both socialization and genetically certain characteristics are likely to play a role here,” he says. So far, according to him, research has mainly been done into how people behave, but it remains difficult to explain why they do that.
The fact that personal space is culturally determined showed psychologist Agnieszka Sorokowska and colleagues in a research In 42 countries. Romanians keep the most distance to strangers – about 130 centimeters – while Argentines already feel comfortable at about 80 cm. People from warmer countries turned out to be strangers to come closer, but on the other hand kept more distance in intimate relationships.
Together on the couch
The German researchers Vera Hebel and Katrin Rentzsch showed that personality also plays a role. In their experiment performed pairs of strangers simple assignments, such as playing stone-paper scissors. They were then asked how they estimate themselves and the other on characteristics such as kindness, extraversion and openness. When they sat down on a couch together, cameras registered their mutual distance. Anyone who assessed himself higher for kindness than others in the group, sat closer to the other person. And participants who were experienced by their conversation partner as friendly, extroverted or open, also got someone closer to them more often.
Personal space is subtle communication. “If we are attracted to someone, we will unconsciously come closer,” says Varnum. The research by Hebel and Rentzsch also showed that physical proximity is related to how sympathetic we find someone. The stronger participants indicated that they wanted to become friends with the other, the closer they sat next to that person.
In addition, several studies showed that women and older people take more personal space than men and young people. According to Varnum, this is possible because they are on average more vulnerable. “It probably has a deep evolutionary logic,” he explains. “On average, women run more risk of being physically damaged by an unknown, and the elderly have a greater chance of serious consequences if they fall ill.”
Anyone who sometimes doubts about the right distance to others can find guidance in the Layout of anthropologist Edward Hall. He distinguished four zones: more than 210 centimeters for public speeches, 122 to 210 centimeters for conversations with strangers, 46 to 122 centimeters in friends and acquaintances, and 0 to 46 centimeters in intimate relationships. But the most reliable signal remains: if someone takes a step back, then you were probably too close.