Wenspapa’s Sander Boeren (31) and Rutger van den Aker (32) from Den Bosch thought they really found a surrogate mother after a search. Their long -cherished desire for children seemed to finally come true. Until the surrogate mother unexpectedly withdrew after months. Sadness and disappointment remained. Now the couple is starting a new search with their blog: Expeditie Wenspapas. “We have new hope!” Says Sander.
Your own minimensje: With the thought of that dream, their eyes begin to twinkle again. They look ahead again. Sure, such a long -held children’s desire is difficult to put into words: it is a feeling. “You just want to pass on something,” Rutger shines. “I want to play in the playground, even in the pouring rain. Now you are always the nice uncle, you also want to be the nice father.”
Dozens of appointments
Dozens of times they agreed with the surrogate mother and her family. Sander and Rutger baked an apple pie for the first meeting. Coffee dates, dinners, visits to museums or a festival: they had built up a close friendship in eight months.
Yet the woman withdrew for ‘personal circumstances in the family’. The couple would rather not say more about it, also out of protection for the surrogate mother. “All signals were green.” They were already quite far: at work they already spoke carefully about leave arrangements. It really seemed to happen. “The feeling just knocked completely,” adds Rutger. “We dared to be happy.”
Around the holidays they got a huge thump for them. “You can’t think of anything else anymore. We were really upset for weeks,” says Rutger. “You really feel vulnerable again.”
Not angry
Yet they are anything but angry with the woman. “The disappointment was especially really big. You have hope. You really find a pin in a haystack,” says Sander.
The two told their story at Omroep Brabant in November 2023. They thought it was exciting and scary. “You are really vulnerable,” says Sander. A real tsunami, especially cheerful and nice reactions followed. A dozen reactions had potential, eventually Sander and Rutger had been in contact with four ladies seriously. Yet they eventually found no surrogate mother.
Carnival
Despite everything, it doesn’t feel like they are completely empty -handed. Sander: “The conversation is more on the table. You feel less alone.” They come with countless examples of sweet reactions. Rutger Glundert: “A sweet grandmother mailed that she all gives us the beauty. Or just nice conversations at the gym and coffee machine.” The two were also recognized during the Kwèkfestijn carnival party. Sander and Rutger also received support from couples in the same situation.
A brand new blog post is already online. On the website you can read everything about surrogacy and the wishes. For example, they pose with an Oeteldonk scarf. Sligro-marketer Rutger always goes for the wins at games and Neust likes to go to thrift stores. They prefer to travel. And Sander has also just completed his master’s studies as Physician Assistant.
Whether they will be daddy? “Certainly!”, SANDS SANDS SHOLUT. Rutger: “The wish is great. We are open again.” Sander smiles: “It will happen someday.”
Rutger and Sander’s new search can be followed Via this website. Earlier Sander and Rutger told their story at Omroep Brabant:
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