Twenty-five years ago, the first gay couples tied the knot in Amsterdam. This made the Netherlands the first country in the world to allow same-sex marriage. Tens of thousands of marriages have now been concluded. The Drenthe couple Richard Saptenno and Josh Hassing were among the early couples.
“I think we were the first gay marriage in the municipality of Borger-Odoorn,” says Saptenno. “It was also a very special day for the wedding registrar.”
The couple had been together for twenty years at that time, but marriage was not an option before. This only became possible from April 2001. They tied the knot in December of that same year. During a holiday in Mexico, Hassing got down on his knees. “I wasn’t planning on it at all, but suddenly I thought: I’m going to ask him to marry me.”
They met each other at a young age. Their relationship had to remain secret for a long time, says Saptenno. “I kept it to myself for years. When I finally told it, my father didn’t talk to me for two years.”
In everyday life, Hassing and Saptenno have rarely had unpleasant reactions. “Only once, in Amsterdam: we were not allowed to enter a club because we were not ‘gay enough’.” At the same time they hear other stories. “Friends from Amsterdam notice that acceptance has really deteriorated.”
According to Saptenno, an important part of that acceptance lies in how people interact with each other. “Interact normally and see each other as people. You don’t have to be friends, but respect each other.”
