These are the best Chuck Norris jokes out there

Nobody kept Bruce Lee in check for as long as Chuck Norris in “The Deathclaw Strikes Again”, no action star hasn’t been seen on the big screen for so long – and yet everyone was talking about Chuck Norris.

You’d think the tang soo do and taekwondo master would have peaked with roles in Missing In Action or the TV series Walker, but the Ryan, Oklahoma-born actor lived to see it in recent years, especially as a revolutionary of the joke, an almost uncanny renaissance.

Under the term “Chuck Norris Facts” or “Chuck-Norris-Sprüche” in German, countless slapstick short wisdoms were created that made fun of his roles as basically invincible – but law-abiding action hero and thus the stereotypes he created completely celebrate on the side.

ROLLING STONE has listed the 13 funniest Chuck Norris sayings

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t eat honey, he chews bees!
  • Chuck Norris cuts a knife with a piece of bread.
  • Chuck Norris does not use condoms because there is nothing that can protect against him.
  • Chuck Norris is so manly his chest hair has hair on it.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares at them until they voluntarily tell him what he wants to know.
  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is!
  • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he downloads a song on iTunes.
  • Children wear Superman pajamas at night. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas at night.
  • Sido once asked who this Chuck Norris actually is. Since then, Sido has been wearing a mask.
  • When Chuck Norris wants to eat an egg, he peels a chicken!
  • When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t get sick. He offers viruses a shelter!

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