There is a popular saying that says: “No one puts more sticks on the wheel than the one who is afraid to drive.” And while it sounds fun, in the world of family businesses it is current currency.
The paradox of change: everyone wants it, but nobody wants to release the steering wheel.
Today I invite you to look closely at a phenomenon that we see again and again in consulting: business families that declare to be ready to transform, open new businesses, professionalize management … but that, in practice, are sabotaged alone from the inside.
Where does the problem begin?
Everything starts with good intentions. We see partners who attend congresses, do courses, hire consultants, selfies are taken, participate in each social event and talk about innovation with passion. But then … they return to the company and do the same as always.
They do not delegate. They do not open the information. They do not share power. They do not review their own practices.
And, without realizing it, they generate a contradictory message: “We want to change, but nothing changes.
What about the rest?
When the owners boycot the change from the inside, the domino effect is inevitable.
The middle managers are confused: was this seriously or was it only for the photo?
The collaborators lower their arms: “Why am I going to propose something if they don’t listen to me?”
In the end, the culture of the organization becomes a reflection of these contradictions. The vicious circle feeds: the lack of consistent action above has skepticism below, and any attempt to change ends in inertia. The “for what” is installed, a kind of camouflaged resignation of pragmatism, where each new initiative is seen with distrust, as the one who already burned several times with the same milk.
The lack of coherence wears out. The initial enthusiasm is deflating as a globe at children’s party.
And the worst part is that this is not given by evil or disinterest, but for invisible resistance, fears not said, internal (and emotional) structures that do not want to touch.
But they are so agile outside!
Yeah! And that is the most striking. These families are usually brilliant outward: they launch new products, make commercial alliances, detect opportunities with hound smell. But internal cuisine is another story:
– There are no structured meetings.
– Information circulates on WhatsApp (and not always with everyone).
– Strategic decisions are taken in family dinners or takes one without prior discussion.
– No one knows well who is responsible for what.
– The relevant information is in endless Excel tables, and with little accurate data.
It’s like having a Formula 1 car … but without a steering wheel.
What can we do when those who stop change are “those above”?
As a consultant, accountant, team coach and ontological coach (yes, all that together), I learned that it is not enough to train the team, professionalize the structure or make a nice organization chart.
You have to work with the soul of the company, and that soul is closely linked to the main founders or partners.
Some keys that I usually work on:
1. name what happens (without guilt, but with courage).
Boicot mechanisms must be put on the table. Sometimes with humor, sometimes firmly. The important thing is that leaders can be seen in the mirror without costume.
2. Open spaces for emotional conversation.
Because under each resistance there is fear: to lose control, that others “are not ready”, that things go hand in hand.
3. Show the cost of not changing.
Not with threats, but with real data: personnel rotation, lost opportunities, emotional wear, remote partners. Sometimes the economic awakens what the speech does not achieve.
4. Work in coherence.
What is said and what is done has to align.
5. Go by little, but seriously.
Small sustained changes in time generate trust. It is better to move slow but firm, than to make great ads without support.
And the collaborators?
They see everything. They perceive it. They feel it. When the leaders are authentic, when they recognize their limitations and show real will of change, the team responds. A culture of respect, openness and possibility is generated. And that directly impacts productivity and work environment.
Because in the end, it’s not about changing everything, but starting for what costs us most: ourselves …
Mariela del Valle Aguilera
Prager 94 – Villa Carlos Paz – CBA.
www.marielaaguilera.com
Mail: [email protected]
IG – LKDIN: @marieladvagaguilera
Tel: 353 – 4222409
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