The girl and the fisherman God, by Juan Soto Ivars

That vegan mother of an equally vegan girleight years old, the poor thing, who said (the mother) felt “devastated” because they forced the youngster to dress up as a fisherwoman in carnival like the rest of the children in the class: a great song. The mother has raised her complaint for ideological imposition and disrespect for the beliefs and moral feelings of her daughter to the networks and televisions, avid for cheap feed, like farm chickens.

Like everything superfluous and extravagant (and what is more superfluous and extravagant than a mother who complains about her daughter’s carnival costume) this matter opens unsuspected, deep debates. Animal veganism, should it be considered a new religion today? A monolithic political creed? The Jew and the Muslim were discovered in old Spain for their suspicious diet. In Portugal, the Jews invented a fake sausage, the alheira de mirandela, to pass themselves off as Christians. Are vegans today’s chosen people? Morally, I think they are above me, carnivore. I agree with them on that and I applaud the rectitude that I lack. The thing about the farms is inhumane, but the filetillo is so good… Sure, I also find them ridiculous and hyperventilated. They are.

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The fans are fans of their morals. We would understand that a Muslim does not want to dress up his son as Pepa Pig; that a conservative does not allow his children the carnival cross-dressing; that a ‘woke’ liberal does not tolerate that his children paint their faces black because he has read that it bothers North American blacks, and in Getafe they must be watching us; and we would understand that an environmentalist does not want his children to dress up as bullfighters. What’s so strange, then, that a vegan mother considers that dressing as a fisherman is little less than walking around in the uniform of the Waffen SS?

The mother has said in the Risto Mejide, to the question of when her daughter became a vegan, that “since she was born”. It seems that, with God dead in general terms, small religions proliferate like mushrooms at the feet of broken identity, and we don’t even wait for baptism to anoint our children. But don’t forget the mother what is the use of carnival: to tie ourselves to the creed pretending that it loosens us. Lady: let your daughter dress up, it’s good to temporarily suspend the moral code. Disguising the fisher girl of hers is the cleverest way to keep her in idolizing hers to hers. Centuries of tradition attest to it!

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