Teenagers learn online resilience on this summer camp. ‘Your phone feels a bit like a prison’

In the village of Hei- en Boeicop, in the Groene Hart, more than thirty teenagers are waiting outside in a circle early in the morning for the morning gymnastics. Wende (15) says that on Sunday morning on arrival at the Summer Camp she had to hand in her smartphone immediately. “I thought it was only if your parents were gone, but it was immediately. I didn’t like that.” Four telephone -less days later she doesn’t miss the thing as bad as she thought. “If I have to hand in my phone at school, I miss him very much, but here we do nicer things.”

During the children’s camp ‘Stay Strong’, young people work on their self -confidence and social resilience for five days. The children do all kinds of sports-and-play activities, and in between there is a conscious time to give each other compliments and to reflect on behavior and emotions. The camps are held several times a year and organized by Stichting De Ster. Friendship, setting boundaries, dealing with emotions and social pressure are central. Since a few years, online resilience has been part of the program. This Wednesday, halfway through the summer camp, the teenagers get their phones back to stand still.

Toxic positivity

Two supervisors come out of the accommodation for the morning gym, one in a shiny superhero suit, the other in an eighties-sports millot with a voluminous blonde wig. “Are we looking forward to it?!” they call. “We are toxic positivity! ” The children shouting.

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‘Toxic positivity’ is common on social media. It means the unhealthy pushing away of negative emotions, and only showing the positive sides of life.

Online contact continues all day. So if it is negative, it is also there all day

The camp leadership has seen more and clearer in recent years that offline resilience cannot be disconnected from online resilience. “Social contact is also taking place online,” says psychologist and director of De Ster, Merel Nederend. “That can be positive: you can have nice contact, maintain friendships more easily or continue to speak to someone who has moved. Young people notice that too. But the online contact continues all day. So if it is negative, it is also there all day. You compare yourself faster with others, bullying happens online, and if you don’t feel it, you can also see you. Or now make you meet. self -image. “

Nicer

Outside on the grass, after the morning gym, next to a meadow with cows and horses in the bright summer sun, the youngsters say without feeling more freely, not hidden behind a screen and without the idea that you can be filmed. “If you have your phone, you feel a bit stuck in a prison,” says Milou (14). “You know, if you put it away, you quickly pick it up again, because you can’t live without it. But if you don’t have it for a few days, you just feel freedom.”

“You are actually forced to play outside,” says Luna (12). “That’s nice.”

“It is also nicer without phones,” Milou responds. “If we had it now, we would all be looking up. Now we can play outside of Frisbee, football or basketball. Just run around and do fun things, even dancing on the table.” Floris (14) has discovered that he can “just have fun with friends and make contact with everyone without a mobile.”

Turd-emoji

After breakfast the children get their phones back until after dinner, they have to discuss the rules in a circle. “Yes!” Wende calls while she claps in her hands. With her friends from the camp, she will soon make taps, and they want to add each other on WhatsApp and Snapchat.

If we hadn’t received our phones back, I wouldn’t have found it bad either

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“Online difficult situations can pass by,” Kample leader Mariska Peeters (35) tells the children. “If you come across something, we can talk about that together.” She discusses the rules: ask permission before posting someone’s photo online. Online bullying is forbidden, telephones may only be used between activities by or when the management says so.

“And not sitting on your phone on disrespectful moments, for example during dinner,” adds a girl. A part does not agree with that, are you also ‘free’ during food?

A girl asks if you are allowed to take someone who does not want to take a photo online, but then unrecognizable ‘with a turd emoji or something’ over the face. “No turd,” her neighbor responds immediately. “Something love, like a heart.”

“We are experimenting here with what children find difficult, that also includes the online world,” says camp leader Richard Machielse (31). “How do you add yourself online to a group that you don’t know yet?” “Can you say things online that you might not say offline? And: are you coming up for yourself? What do you do when someone shares a photo of you without your permission?”

When they finally have their phones, Fedde (14) and Floris join forces to put together a WhatsApp group with all the children of the camp. Parents are called and Snapchat messages of friends are viewed. Floris is disappointed that he is snapstreaks is lost, the number of consecutive days in a row that friends send each other through Snapchat a photo or video.

The WhatsApp messages flow in at Wende and Melina. “But if we hadn’t received our phones back, I wouldn’t have found it bad,” says Wende.

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