CHoms holidays, evenings in company and travels, lSummer has always been the season of new loves. This is precisely the period in fact in which we relax, dream of and, for those who are single, The hope (and the desire) of a special meeting is also back.
To explain how theSummer can really be a precious moment to prepare for the encounter with love And Monica Ricci, Psychologist, Love Coach followed on social media (@Dr.Micaricci) And today the author of the book “The right time. How to make you ready for the appointment with love” (Giacovelli Editore). «In the summer the rhythm slows down, the mind lightens, and we also become more accommodation than our deepest thoughts. In that silence that daily life almost never allows us, we can listen to us better: What do I really want? What relationships are good for me, and what aren’t it?» – underlines the love coach who in his book, full of ideas, guides readers in an inner path of awareness that can help transform the idea of theLove as “something that must happen” In an active journey.
The cover of Monica Ricci’s book ‘The right time – how to make you find ready for the appointment with love’ (Giacovelli Editore)
Summer loves: just a straw fire?
If summer can in fact be a precious moment to make room for love, it is also true that the desire to fall in love and to do (finally) the right meeting can take some blunder. So how to understand if Summer infatuation is only a straw fire or The beginning of something right? «Summer has its own power: we feel more free, lighter, open to the new. And this can favor meetings. But Not everything that is born in the sun is destined to last – He warns the psychologist. – To understand if it is a straw fire or something more, We must observe what happens beyond the initial attraction. We really look for, you share something authentic, can you talk about yourself without filters? If, even when the holiday ends, The desire to build something together remains, then it could really be the beginning of a true story ». In its book, the love coach offers useful ideas also to learn to distinguish between infatuation and authentic compatibility. «A summer encounter can be intense, but lat a time right it is recognized by how it makes you feel: respected, seen, free to be yourself. Not from the amount of messages, but from the quality of the connection. And above all the right time is recognized by constancy ” – he explains.
Summer loves: attention to ‘patch’ relationships
If you just got out of a relationship, things get complicated. Especially in summer, temptation can be that of launch yourself into a new story that can help to forget and cure the wounds of the past.
«Leaving a relationship is always a small emotional revolution. In summer, with all that desire to live, we could be attempted to “Distract us from pain” with a new flirtation. But be careful: a “patch” love often does not heal, on the contrary, it risks reopening wounds – underlines the expert. – Rather, The summer break is an opportunity to be with ourselves, reconnect with what really nourishes us and recover that part of us who perhaps, in the relationship, had put aside. Only in this way can we open up to love again, but from a place of strength and not lack. Summer can become the turning point: the moment when you stop giving up on the past and you really start putting in the center and looking forward ».
Summer loves: when you always meet the wrong person
And if summer love ends with yet another disappointment and with the classic leitmotiv “I always attract the wrong people“? Also in this case, it is better to stop to reflect.« It happens when, without realizing it, We repeat the same emotional scripts – explains Monica Ricci. – we tend to seek – or to recognize as love – what is familiar to us: often affective methods similar to those experienced by girls, even if they were dysfunctional or painful. It’s as if we were looking for rewrite an old story gone badly. But until we break that circle, until we learn to say “This time I can choose differently”we will continue to attract what confirms the pain. For break that mechanism it serves first to recognize it».
The psychologist and love coach Monica Ricci
How to find (really) the right person?
To find love on vacation, in short, a single rule is worth: “Remember that love, the real one, is not only found in summer, with the case or luck” – invites you to reflect the love coach. Love – healthy, deep, lasting – comes when we are ready to welcome him. In short, it is not a question of finding the ‘half of the apple’, the piece that completes us, ‘but to become rather complete we first’.
Only in this way can you be, in short,, Really ready to meet love. «This does not mean having life perfectly in order or being” healed “from everything – explains Monica Ricci again. – It means, though, Knowing us enough to know what makes us feel good and what does not. Means having made peace with our fragilityhaving learned to put healthy boundaries and listen to our needs. When a woman loves herself, she is no longer satisfied. It does not chase, she does not sell off, does not wait to be chosen: she chooses her, and this changes everything».
Summer exercises to learn to love each other
In his book, the love coach also lists those who define the Six pillars of love for themselves: Accept yourself, take care of yourself, recognize your needs, cultivate self -compression, write a letter, practice gratitude. The good news? Summer can be the right opportunity To do some practice. «Love for himself is not an abstract concept, It is a daily training In fact, the psychologist concludes. – in summer we can start with little things: learn to say a no without feeling guilty, give us a moment just for us every day, Write a diary of gratitude. We can also observe how we talk to each other inside: are we kind or do we always criticize ourselves? And then, grant us a “yes” every now and then: to a desire, to a dream, to a more true version of ourselves. This is the first step to teach others as we want to be treated».