THEThe study of intimate relationships helps us understand the small frictions that arise between two people who date or are together. After the ghostingThe breadcrumbingThe love bombing and theorbiting — and we could go on and on — there is a new relational dynamic that is capturing the attention of experts: the stashing. The term, taken from English to stashwhich literally means “to hide,” describes a situation in which one of the members of the couple tends not to openly recognize the importance of the other in their life. The result? Toxic dynamics in which those who suffer the behavior become almost invisible.
What does it mean to be a stasher?
Those who practice stashing — “stasher” — does not disappear, but chooses not to show her story to the world. The journalist Ellen Scott she was the first to use this word referring to romantic relationships: do not live the relationship publicly, do not introduce your partner to family or friends, and do not share photos on social media. In other words, those who suffer stashing stay invisibleas if the relationship lived in parallel to the rest of the partner’s life.
When stashing becomes a problem
At the beginning of a relationship it is normal to want take time before letting the other into your world. But if this behavior is prolonged, an imbalance can arise between the partners: one wants to be part of the other’s life in its entirety, while the other keeps his distance. Those who are “stashed” may begin to doubt their worth, wondering if their partner is even trying shameif he is dating other people, with a strong impact on self-esteem and confidence.
Why do some people hide their relationship?
The reasons can be multiple and complex. In some cases, the partner fears i judgments from family or friendsdeemed difficult to introduce, and continues to be postponed. In others, the choice to isolate the relationship from others arises from fear of failure: By keeping everything hidden, you reduce the risk of embarrassment in the event of a breakup. There is no shortage of those looking for one apparent freedomcontinuing to show himself “free” in public despite being romantically involved.
Stashing and psychology
From a psychological perspective, stashing can be reflective narcissistic traits of personality. By excluding your partner from your life, you create a power imbalance that causes frustration, insecurity and decreased self-esteem. In some cases, those who practice stashing practice control and emotional superiorityleaving the other to “settle for crumbs”, as in the case of breadcrumbing.
In love, transparency and sharing are the basis of the relationship
The stashing It reminds us how complex modern relationships can be, between social media, commitments and personal fears. Being “overshadowed” can hurt deeply, affecting confidence and self-esteem. For those who live this experience, the advice of the experts is speak openlydefine expectations and understand if the relationship is balanced or destined to remain halfway. Because in love, as in life, transparency and sharing are the true strength of a couple.
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