QUaando one History ends and we find ourselves single, fears arise that you tend to tend to have not. The most common? That of going to the restaurant as a restaurant. The deepest? Remain single For all life. A fear so so deeply rooted as to also have a technical name, Auptafobia. In short, when you are no longer in pairs what you have to face is not only your broken heart but even if you were, with all a not indifferent emotional background.
Single, the most common fears: find yourself alone
Whether Sngle is by choice or by circumstance some fears, however normal, can arise anyway. Especially if you have just left a relationship, the idea of continuing to live alone may not be easy to manage. Establishing new habits, finding a new routine and above all doing certain things alone may not be easy. But what are the fears that are most found when you find yourself alone?
1. Anuptafobia, the fear of being single
It is such a so consolidated fear that of being alone and not in pairs, especially at a “certain age”, as to also have a technical name: Anuptafobia. But what does it originate from? There bigger fear when you find yourself alone is that of solitude: accustomed to living in two small and major events of life, now loneliness scares both because it is feared not to be able to face everyday life and because you are afraid of having to face it for life, not finding anyone anymore.
In addition to the fear of the unknown and what the future reserves but above all of the Judgment of others: even today single people are labeled as “incomplete” and worse “bad luck”. Thus going to feed the normal concerns. How to deal with this fear? Unfortunately, living it and surrounding themselves as much as possible of reliable people who do not judge but who support. And learn not to judge yourself.
2. Admit with yourself that the relationship is over
Maybe we have been left, maybe instead we spent so long to try to keep the relationship that now that it is concluded is felt lost and lost. But above all, anxiety, anger and a sense of loss often proves. In addition to thinking that the story may not be over, that perhaps the other person is still thinking about it, that it is simply a moment of stall, a pause for reflection. Very often it is not so. Very often the stories are really finished. The problem is that for fear of dealing with pain, and change, which it entails you do not want to believe at the end of the story. So, to avoid pain, you start doing something else by becoming hyperactive and doing everything in order not to think and elaborate.
Thus doing though you undergo a risk, that of the waves of pain who come when you least expect it. Another Very widespread attitude is to continue to mull over historyon why it ended, in reliving every event to understand where it was wrong.
So how to behave? The first practical thing to do is not feel the other person anymore. If at the beginning it is a relief in the long run, it may not be so, but it is the necessary thing to do. Don’t feel more on the phone anymore, don’t follow on social networks anymore. Second step, take care of yourself: Continue to sleep, doing the physical activity that was already done, eating as much as possible to follow a balanced diet, carrying out pleasant activities and letting off with friends is all that helps in these cases. In the end, Ricalizing one’s life slowly finding new habits.
3. Among the fears of singles that of adopting new habits
If you ask people, single or in pairs, if they have ever had lunch alone in a restaurant they will almost certainly say no. Eating in a public place alone is one of the things that most embarrasses people. On the contrary, It is almost considered a taboo. Like to go to the cinema alone. Certainly therefore there is no pleasure in doing it.
The first thing that comes to mind is “who knows what others will think”with all the corollary of vaguely toxic thoughts, such as “the others will think that they are a loser-shore-shore-Stramba”. Spoiler: that’s not the case. Indeed, almost always the people around us think absolutely nothing of us.
Going to dinner alone, but also in the cinema, should be lived as a moment to give yourself. For example, you want to see a movie to which, however, no friend interests, you want to try a new restaurant, however, that evening they are all busy. Perfect, they go by yourself. Thus discovering some things about himself: for example, The satisfaction you have after having passed your own fearor at least a discomfort, and the idea of ”knowing how to do” something. Not to mention that being alone can be a way to meet new people, to have a chat with the waiter. AND, If you really feel embarrassment, you can always bring with you that book that you never have time to read.
4. Fear of starting again, what is the flap
Called Foso, Fear of Starting Overthe fear of starting is widespread. Also because it is closely linked to the fear of change. So he can hit both those who are in pairs and would like to leave each other but they cannot be who are alone and would like to get back into the game.
The term contains all the fears that arise in these cases: doubts, uncertainties, fear of suffering and failing, vulnerability in front of a new and unknown person, fear of the unknown. All these negative emotions create a sort of psychological barrier that prevents it is to throw themselves. To this then add another aspect: that of Don’t want to get out of your comfort zone. Maybe so at the beginning you were afraid to remain alone as much as you are now finding your own balance that is fine. How to get out of this situation? With serenity. First of all without judging For what you feel or you don’t feel like doing, so don’t be in a hurry. Privilege your times, respecting them, reconstruct one’s self -esteem, if it is still dented, and above all realize that it is absolutely normal to feel embarrassed in getting to know a new person and starting to flirt. But that is all part of the game.
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