Katja Ståhl remembers her father’s death in the Saatan olla sääsäsik podcast.
Katja Ståhl’s father died when her children were small. Helja Salonen
Presenter Katja Ståhl talks about his tough phase of life I might be wrong on the podcast. Ståhl was going through a divorce at the same time as his father died.
According to Ståhl, his father was supposed to die within two days. However, the father lived two weeks longer, during which Ståhl visited him at the hospital in Hämeenlinna.
Ståhl only found out about his father’s death on the day of the funeral. Ståhl saw his dead father lying in a coffin and realized that he no longer exists. At that time, Ståhl felt conflicted sadness.
– Even though my relationship with my father was really difficult, of course I cried. I already lost him for the second time. I lost him the first time to alcoholism, and the second time to depression, the host recalls in the episode.
– I cried a little angry cry. I cried too when people said he was such a good person. I was like, “Shit, it wasn’t,” he adds.
On the day of the funeral, Ståhl cried from morning to night. It was a moment of letting go for Ståhl. Ståhl’s tears did not go unnoticed by his children. At that time, Ståhl’s children were 3 and 5 years old.
– My children were like “mom, help”. They tried to comfort me the whole time, Ståhl recalls his children’s confused reaction.
– Losing control is a nasty feeling. That’s the thing I fear about crying, he states.
Ståhl said in 2021 Give itmagazine that his father died of complications caused by alcohol. Ståhl’s father was an actor.
Ståhl’s parents divorced when he was 2 years old. At that time, Ståhl stayed to live with his airplane piston mother. Ståhl spent weekends with his father and his new wife Leena. Despite this, Ståhl’s relationship with his father remained distant.
– He didn’t really know how to be a father. According to Leena, the father could sometimes cry out of longing for his daughter, but he never knew how to reach out to me, Ståhl told Anna.