Alexandre Pato told himself with an open heart, for the first time, in a letter written in his own hand to The Players Tribune. The former AC Milan striker has retraced all the stages of his career, from the peak to the collapse, from the injury to the wrong choices, until today in which, according to him, he feels happy.
MY TRUTH – “I know what you are thinking. I’ve heard that for 10 years. “What happened to Pato?” “Why didn’t Pato win the Ballon d’Or?” “Why was Pato always injured?” Mah. I should have answered these questions some time ago. There were a lot of voices, especially in Milan. I was partying too much. I did not want to. I lived in the world of fairy tales. When I wanted to speak I was told to “think about football”. I was too young to argue. Really, I was just a kid. So I think it’s time to do some clarity. I’m 32 now. I am happy and fit. I don’t resent anything or anyone. If you want to believe the rumors, I’m not here to change your mind. But if you want to know what really happened then listen. ”
I RISK OF LOSING AN ARM – “The first thing you need to understand is that I left home very early. Maybe too soon. When you are 11 you are not ready for the world. You set out to pursue this dream but you are alone and getting lost along the way is really easy. God gave me a gift, that’s clear. Until I was 10 I had never even played on a regular pitch, because 5-a-side football was more fun. I still had a scholarship to a private school. One day I played in this school tournament and an Internacional scout asked my father: “Lord, have you ever thought about letting his son try 11-a-side football?”. Then I broke my arm and they cast me quickly. The doctor X-rayed me and found a large tumor. He said, “He has to be operated on right away or we’ll have to amputate him.” I was shocked. I was 24 hours away from losing my left arm. But do you think my parents could afford the operation? Pfffffffft. My father made do again. He usually filmed my games. So he took the tapes to the hospital, prayed, went to the doctor’s office and put some grainy footage of this smiling boy running around a 5-a-side football field. He said, “Doctor this is my son. I don’t know how to pay for it, but I don’t want to see him stop playing ”. I don’t know what happened after that. Maybe the doctor thought I was good. Maybe he listened to the voice of God. “Don’t worry, I will operate your son for free”.
AC MILAN – “I could have gone to Barcelona, Ajax, Real Madrid. Why Milan? Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever played with that Milan on PlayStation? They were incredible !!! Kaká, Seedorf, Pirlo, Maldini, Nesta, Gattuso, Shevchenko… Sheva was unstoppable! The Phenomenon, the REAL Ronaldo. I could have played with him. What a formation. They had just won the Champions League. Milan in those days was the team. I thought, When is the next flight? Ancelotti after the visits took me to the dining room. “This is Pato, our new forward.” They all stood up to shake my hand. One by one. Ronaldo, Kaka, Seedorf. WOW. That was my first day. at Milan. The videogame had become reality “.
BERLUSCONI CHANGED ME – “Clearly we all knew who the owner of the club was. One day Silvio Berlusconi calls me. He was a great President, he always told jokes. I went out with his daughter Barbara. I dribbled a lot on the wing, oplàààà, overtook anyone. Silvio told me:” Why do you dribble towards the outside? ” He wanted me to play more in the center. Soon Carlo and Leonardo started telling me the same. That’s how I scored that goal at Camp Nou. I was in the center, I saw a space and I ran into it. When Valdés came out I thought, F ***, what do I do? Dribbling? Lob? I tried to kick to his left, but the ball landed between his legs. Wow. Luck is blind. “
GET EXCITED – “In those days I thought I would really get to the top. The expectations were very high. The sure thing was that I was the super talent. I was already playing for Brazil. The press writes about you, the fans talk about you and the other players cheer you up too. I loved the attention. I wanted people to talk about me. But do you know what happened? I started dreaming too much. Even as I continued to work hard, my fantasy took me to all kinds of places. In my head I already had the Golden Ball in my hand. I couldn’t help it. It’s really hard not to get overwhelmed. I had suffered so much to get there. So why not enjoy it? “.
ACCIDENTS – “In 2010 I started getting injured all the time. I no longer had faith in my body. He was afraid of what people would say about me. I went to train thinking, I can’t get injured. If I got injured I wouldn’t tell anyone. Once while I was recovering from a muscle problem I had a sprained ankle and kept playing. She was swollen like a ball but I didn’t want to leave the team. One of my flaws was that I wanted to please everyone. People expected me to score over 30. goals per season, but I couldn’t even get on the pitch. I could accept that others doubted me. But when the doubt comes from within? It’s another thing. So you know what happens? That you find out who really loves you. A lot of people around me thought, Hmmmmmm, after all this I don’t think he will make it. I felt so alone. So when I was in trouble at Milan, I had no idea what to do. Today every player has a team that follows him right? ! Doctor, physiot herapist, preparer. At the time only Ronaldo had it. “
THE TEARS – “When the press wrote lies about me, I didn’t have a PR. I should have clarified things, but I never understood the importance of communicating well and building relationships. I was told that the results on the field were the only ones to This is simply not true. I went to a lot of parties? Not as much as you were led to believe. Didn’t feel like it? They said it because of the way I ran. But come on. Who really knows? God made me like that. I can’t. They wanted to see me slide. They wanted blood, sweat and tears. They had tears. I paid dearly “.
TEVEZ AND THE BIG FLOP – “I should have told everyone the truth. Do you remember the history of PSG? Galliani was in England to take Tevez and PSG made me an incredible offer. I wanted to go – Ancelotti was there – but Silvio told me to stay. I was injured, so the fans thought, “Ooooh Pato didn’t want to leave! With Tevez we would have won! ” The press had also gone mad. I was thinking, What? I wanted to go! I missed the 2010 World Cup. The PSG story came out in January 2012. I was practically not playing. Mentally I was destroyed. I was the big flop, the guy with a lot of money, the one the fans wanted to give away too “
THE DOCTORS – “Do you know how much I have struggled to try to return? I have traveled the world. I have seen every doctor who was worth seeing – and even a few more. A doctor in Atlanta put me upside down as he turned me around. Diagnosis? My reflexes weren’t aligned with my muscles. A doctor in Germany injected liquid all over my back – the next day I was walking around Munich airport hunched over in pain. A doctor threaded me 20 needles every morning and every evening. I could go on indefinitely. I was seeing doctor number 6,7,8,… each of them was saying a different thing. I thought, Man, what do I have? I cried, cried and cried again. I was afraid that I would no longer be able to play football.
PLAY AGAIN – “Could my career have gone differently? Safe. But it’s easy to look back and say what I should have done. When you are there you can’t see certain things. So no regrets. I look on the bright side. I’m in good shape. Mentally I’m great. I still love football. Why I should be angry? We only have one life in this world. I still believe I can go to the World Cup. Look at people like Thiago Silva and Dani Alves. They still play at 37 and 39. But these things happen when God wills. I only live in the present. He decides the rest. I will not have become the best player in the world. But let me tell you a few things. I have a wonderful relationship with my family. I am at peace with myself. I have a wife that I love. The way I see it, I have a lot of Ballon d’Ors. If life is a game, I have won.