DI open a break, especially if the relationship has been characterized by an emotional dependence, keeping in touch with the former partner may seem like a way not to lose everything that has been shared and built up to that moment. But often it is precisely this thread, apparently harmless, a instead prevent us from elaborating the end of the relationship of couple and then healing really and being able to start more aware and stronger than before.
No contact, silence can save
The perspective of the “no contact” (in Italian literally “no contact”) exactly means this: No message, no calls, no control to social networks and no excuse to look for even indirect contact. So no meeting and no contact even with friends/family/colleagues of him/her.
It is not badness and It is not a punishmentbut it is an act of love towards yourself after the end of the toxic and dysfunctional couple relationship. In fact, it helps you clarify, because without external stimuli you can finally listen to your thoughts and emotions with more attention and more lucidity.
Elaborate pain without emotional repercussions
The No Contact also allows you to process pain without continuous emotional repercussions. And it gives you the space to redefine who you are, what you want, and thus be able to start putting yourself at the center of your own life. The contact, even minimal or indirect, often reopens wounds that were just starting to heal.
If you are going through a difficult and complex break, however, remember: silence is not empty, but a fertile ground where you can go back to growing and then flourish. Applying the no contact rule therefore means stop any type of communication with the former partner for a period of time that is relevant.
The right time to flourish
Continuing to contact, or to make us contact from, our ex not only feeds the idea of a possible reconciliation, often in fact if not even more harmful than ever, but also hinders the process of change and therefore recovering the psychological and emotional well -being, also sabotaged possible future relationships.
No contact: why does it really work?
So why does not contact, especially with respect to an emotional dependence, works (as demonstrated by scientific research)?
It works because basically allows you to look inside and clarify Without external conditioning, then managing to put their thoughts and emotions in perspective of their most adaptive and functional future behaviors. It also allows you to adequately process the pain of the end of the relationship. And it is also an opportunity for redefine their needspriorities and choices and consequently learn to taking care of himself and and loved each other, essential conditions to be able to love another person in an authentic and healthy way.
When loving hurts, the book on emotional dependence
THE’Lovein its healthiest and most constructive manifestations, represents a profound and Innate human needand implies an important motivation and a safe and functional attachment to others. Vice versa, When love turns into habit to sufferuntil it becomes what is called a real “emotional dependence”, it places itself as a pain capable of bringing serious problems psychological, physical and relational.
In this condition, increasingly widespread in the contemporary world, the couple’s relationship is experienced as an indispensable prerequisite for one’s existence and this represents the antithesis of love towards oneself.
In this volume the author provides a thorough, complete and detailed examination of the emotional dependence, based on an exhaustive analysis of the scientific literature currently existing.
The goal is to provide the reader with a clear idea of what emotional dependence is, how it is conceptualized and how it can be manifested. In addition to his causes and strategies and intervention techniques to face it and overcome it.
The author
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