1/4 Teun Broers’ funeral in the village hall in Budel (Photo: Broers family)
The new De Borgh community center is the pride of Budel. People like to play shuffleboard there or come to play cards. But something new has emerged: more and more residents of Budel are ignoring the church for their funeral. The village hall is central. The procession walks right past the bar and people having fun. “We wanted to be free,” says Nelly Broers, who lost her husband Teun this year and held the funeral in De Borgh.
New research by funeral organization DELA shows that only four percent of Brabanders choose a church or mosque for their funeral. Boy Jansen is the funeral director who provides the services in De Borgh.
“I really see a shift in the last two years,” he says. “You increasingly see people choosing their own place: in the garden or a barn. Everything comes together in the village hall, people often do crafts or play games and there is a funeral in the room next door. It goes well together.”
The funeral does use a different entrance. “Then we can enter undisturbed. In the beginning it took some getting used to for people, but now we have a funeral here every week,” says Jansen. “People who see it say: do that for me. It is positive that people are made to think.”
“In church, the pastor’s rules often apply.”
Nelly’s husband was still able to think about his own funeral. They had no doubts about the village hall. “He was a homely, pleasant, warm personality. It had to be a warm farewell. You know that there are also people who come to do their daily things in the village hall, but everyone nowadays thinks it is normal that it happens here.”
Teun was a farmer and wanted a colorful farewell. No black. He was taken to the village hall with his old blue tractor. Surrounded by colorful farm flowers. His coffin was placed on straw bales. “There are no rules and regulations in the village hall,” says Nelly.
Anyone who thinks that the older generation in particular still wants a traditional Catholic funeral in the church: Teun was also in his eighties. “I think this development will only continue,” says the funeral director. “The farewell will become much more personal in the future. In church, the pastor’s rules often apply. Some may have more than others, but it’s all about faith. That is of course good if that was important in your life, but the secularization is clear.”
“I have attended funerals where people started dancing.”
Jansen shows the large room in the village hall. “We can do a lot here. We have the stage with a large screen for photos or films, slightly larger than, for example, in a funeral home. We can make the room bigger by removing the dividing wall.”
Another big advantage is time, according to the funeral director. “In a funeral home you often look at the clock and it comes down to the minute. Here you have a much wider window of time. The pressure is gone and that is nice. You can hold a three-hour service here, during which a tasty snack will also be served. I have experienced people dancing here with the deceased present.”
Nelly has a good feeling about her husband’s funeral in the village hall. “When I tell people about this, they want it too. They then say: ‘I didn’t know it could be done this way.’ Time stands still for you, but life also goes on. And you can see that here.”