Lieke Martens spoke candidly about the loss of her son Eden in a vulnerable message on Instagram on Friday. The former football player had to give birth at 24 weeks after she was told that the pregnancy had not gone well. ‘The vision of the future for a family of four suddenly disappeared.’
The 33-year-old Martens announced her decision in February second pregnancy On. But it ended in a nightmare: at the end of March she announced that she and her husband Benjamin van Leer their son was lost. “This loss affects us very deeply,” Martens wrote in a message on Instagram at the time. ‘As a family we like to take the time and space to process this and give it a place.’
Although the sadness is still great, Martens shared a candid message on Instagram on Friday in which she elaborated on how the sad event changed her life. ‘We were so happy. Benjamin and I had just had our son Lowen a year earlier and were really looking forward to becoming a family of four.’
The pregnancy initially went well. ‘I could already feel him moving in my stomach. Everything seemed to be going well.’ Until the couple received bad news: the pregnancy had not gone well. ‘Because I was already 24 weeks pregnant, I had to give birth. After his birth we had to say goodbye to him. Eden was cremated and is now at our home. He will always be our second child. We won’t put it away and we will never forget it. He is part of our family. We still think about him every day.’
Mourning process
Due to the loss, ‘the future image of a family of four suddenly disappeared’ for Martens and Van Leer. But no matter how great the sadness, they still looked for ways ‘to move on’. Martens thinks this has to do with their background in top sports. ‘You learn that sometimes you have to deal with enormous disappointments. Not by putting them away, but by giving them a place.’
I would trade anything for a healthy child
The couple is still in the middle of the grieving process, but does not want to give up, writes Martens. Son Lowen keeps them going. “His smile, his energy, the way he is developing,” it sounds lovingly.
The loss of their son has also caused Martens to look at life differently. She has learned that you cannot plan anything. “Also, we don’t have children.” Moreover, she realizes ‘more than ever’ that ‘love, health and happiness’ are the most important things. Material things have become much less valuable. “I would trade everything for a healthy child,” Martens writes.
For now, Martens and Van Leer are trying to make the best of it. “Step by step,” the former football player concludes.
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