Then Polnaija responds. “I recognize it,” he says. “That I passed on to you exactly what I was traumatized by,” he says. Polnaija was born in Camp Schattenberg, former Camp Westerbork. “In the camp life we had at the time, so many situations happened that it had such an impact on me. I saw a lot of misery there, that has always stayed with me. I recognize what you are saying from my own youth.”
Polnaija continues: “If I had not found healing in my heart, I would never have been able to come out and say, ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart for what I did.’
According to Polnaija, that healing cannot start with anyone other than himself, he explains. “So I can tell you: Laura, I have left you with the trauma of me all this time. And I mean it very much. This is something that we also had to bear unintentionally and it resulted in a very worthless event. And I am proud of you that you have the courage to confront me with it.”
Gerard’s words have great meaning. “Thank you,” she responds, touched. “We have never actually received an apology. That is why I think it is very important that you say this.”
“We come from a generation where there is little talking,” Polnaija answers her. “I’d rather be caned than talk. In my family life, I had to learn to deal with it differently. Otherwise, I will continue to pass on my father’s pattern to my children. Until we decide: ‘Stop, no further’. I can say this because I was once that perpetrator. Never again,” Polnaija concludes. “I want to thank you Laura, this has touched me deep in my heart.”
