Dutch people dress badly, very badly. Mountain boots. Backpacks. Windbreakers. Hoodies. Fleece sweaters. There’s nothing wrong with that in itself – if you’re taking a mountain walk. But I’m talking about work here.
When I attend conferences, I think I accidentally ended up at a scouting camp. As if I am briefing a group that afterwards goes into the wilderness with a survival compass to shoot hares and partridges.
The dirty fleece sweaters always disgusted me at the office, but since corona it has become unbearable at all. We are the only people who show up to a wedding with a 40 liter Eastpak backpack. But I also see Gore Tex jackets at funerals and Crocs in the restaurant. It’s thundering, man. As if everyone decided one day: we will no longer make any effort. And I missed that memo.
I was at one recently spoken wordevening (my psychologist tells me to get out of my comfort zone more) and someone was walking around in a dressing gown. On socks. Even the legal profession has fallen. Once a bastion of suits, ties and heels, now they wear sneakers. The Van Bommel family are turning in their graves.
Naturally. There are places where it makes sense if you look like a windswept camper. In Lapland. In Leeuwarden. During a soaking wet heath day. ‘It’s also freedom,’ you sometimes hear people say who have been wearing smelly sweaters and windbreakers all their lives. ‘That you can decide for yourself what you wear.’ Sure dude. Freedom. It’s just lameness. We’ve given up. It annoys me to death, but I also think it’s stupid.
Because dressing poorly at work makes you dumber. Those who dress well are sharper, more alert, and pay better attention to whether egg yolks or Russian salad are being tampered with. Those who dress better not only take themselves more seriously, but also others. You say: this morning I did my best, and I also do that at work.
Sure, crooks wear suits too. Certain politicians. Certain lawyers. Scrum masters. That seems to me to be a reason not to do that yourself, and to reclaim the neat suit from the rabble. Just like Rob Jetten reclaimed the Dutch flag from people who shouted Heil Hitler. Moreover, now that the Americans are dropping out, and we have to start working with the British, French and Italians again – do you think they will take us seriously with a windbreaker over our jacket?
But neat clothes also help with the ‘work life balance’: well-groomed at work, . This is how your body knows: I can eat chips again. Furthermore, everyone thinks that if you wear nice clothes, you are applying for a job. Before you know it, your boss thinks you are important. And oh yeah, men in hobbezaks have lower testosterone levels, I recently read in it F.D.
I’m just sayin’.
So yes. Indeed: we are at a crossroads. Will we continue to walk on our cross trainers towards the end of civilization? Or are we still going to try to make something of it?
That is why today I am launching the Delta Plan ‘Start dressing better, working Dutchman!’ Máxima, our savior from fashion blunders, has already agreed to be an ambassador – imagine what Willem would have looked like without her: in an AGU rain suit on King’s Day.
The first step is a general clothing sales ban at the ANWB and Bever – I think that is a first major step. After that, there will be a tax on every kilometer walked in the office with mountain boots, Dilan Yesilgöz comes in every day Good morning Netherlands show what she is wearing, and every Dutch person who works in an office receives an annual clothing inspection.
To the skeptics I say: try it: wear a suit to work for one day, instead of zip-off pants. You will be amazed. I would like to say to the rest of working people in the Netherlands: ‘Go get dressed, dude’. We certainly don’t all have to wear three-piece gray. But a little effort is fine. We are not a campsite.
We are a country.
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