Disclaimer: Because a few people on the internet were ranting about my last column, yeah, it’s true, I’m prone to polemics and clipping from time to time, but… seriously, you don’t want the long version. The word “pop column” alone indicates in two ways that there is no introduction, main part or conclusion to be expected here, my name isn’t Jens Balzer (best regards). Pop column means we do flashes like paparazzi here, nothing more, nothing less.
The disclaimer is also important because here and now we are dealing with a phenomenon that particularly affects many men of culture. It’s about movie buffs. The truth is: They’re dead, riveted, soldered away in a grimace, front-kicked to Mars. They don’t mean anything anymore, nobody listens to them anymore, rest in peace, cineastes, it was nice with you. So “beautiful”. But now we all know and rate all the films, and since we’ve been doing this for a few years, everyone now has a clue and knows references. The movie buffs will, of course, continue to try from the afterlife (e.g. Facebook) to make popular films mad for us, they will explain to us why Marvel films are unoriginal and that everything that we already know and know already existed back then with Shooting Michtot, will brag that only they can appreciate the interesting nature of this one indie film that we’ve all already seen at the arthouse around the corner because we were made aware of it months ago through internet memes and so on.
viewing tips At least that’s what we’re getting from somewhere else than from the movie buffs and their feuilletons, namely from you, you, you and you and your parents and the other funny people you’ve just dragged over. Plus then again online from all the rest of humanity. I don’t know if it’s that much better now. Film and series tips have long since replaced weather, work and left-wing terrorism as THE topics for small talk, it’s no longer important who you are, but what you see. Short break for your screenshots of this nonsense.
Next: You probably still remember the time called Christmas… You sat with people or you were alone, you celebrated Christmas or not, but you had to watch a movie or a series because you had free time or after work, you had to watch something, that’s what the law required. Then you had it Spoiled for choice: which of the sixty streaming services to use? How many can you even afford? Maybe you only have one left, then it’s very “easy” to choose. “Glass Onion” should be watched, said the charts, said friends. But then everyone recommended “White Lotus” as standard, so you needed Prime again. Then everyone loved “Aftersun” and you had to bang into the cinema. These are problems. So that’s the thing with the recommendations. I don’t necessarily have to have them, but many people like them. Sometimes people even ask for tips as if they don’t have endless viewing lists, just like tall stacks of books.
We live in a real overflow of recommendations
Mom used to always say something was well discussed (in the newspaper) and acted accordingly. Today, we have Algorithms and recommendations. Or are both the same? Are our friends already algorithmized? Oh god, oh god! For me, of course, I listen to all the recommendations from all directions – you can’t avoid them either – but I look for something to look at myself and then remember: Oh yes, someone else thought that was good, let’s go! On the other hand, of course, I recommend vacuum cleaners! But the problem is that the Referral Market is completely saturated. Many people react as I do: Aha, a new recommendation, draft, in one ear, out the other. Too many people bring too many referrals, we have a society where people are brimming with referrals, we live in referral overload. Some are nice and even make lists, live in complete rubbish of recommendation notes, others have the recommendations buzzing around in their heads, making them constantly nauseous and dizzy.
So you have to come up with something. You can’t just recommend something, haha! For example, I have a long leather coat and recommendations hanging in it. I then go to young, hip people in front of hip techno clubs and whisper “Walking Dead” or something to them. Sometimes, though, I blow an airhorn or spill a generous amount of glitter so people remember my recommendation. Sometimes I manifest people via hours of whispering in my sleep etc. Recently I wanted my friends “The Swimmers” see, the best film of the last year, yes that’s how you say it, you can’t say it was the best film I’ve seen, it has to be an objective chart winner. THE BEST FILM OF 2022. Or even ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF ALL TIME. I can’t go out and say: Look at “The Swimmers”, it’s good! Nobody is that stupid. People have their lists, whether real or mental. And somehow I have to get my recommendation right up there. For this reason, I cannot reveal my most successful tricks here.
Once you get into the recommendation box, however, the next challenge comes: sometimes people don’t find something as good as you do and vice versa. “Succession”, “Severance”, why do you want me to be bored? Then people say you should hold on, it would be better from episode five, it’s coming soon, watch out now!!! Sometimes you doubt friendships, how can that be, how can that person recommend something like that, this sick pig? Or how can she not find it just as sweet as I do, is she secretly a fascist? There is then arguing, canceling, crying. Watch recommendations have long since lost their innocence… I don’t want to paint anything black, but a whole generation is becoming radicalized right now. It’s just too difficult to accept that people like different things. We as a society are facing a huge challenge… Bye.
What happened until now? Here is an overview of all pop column texts.
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