In times of the digital age, the vast majority of relationships begin through applications, sustaining themselves from the virtual.
What happens when someone who is feeling lonely dives into a dating app?
Open the door to a supermarket of images, gondolas full of the most varied products. Such a vast offer creates the feeling that it is impossible not to find what you are looking for. One goes from one object to another, with a tireless finger that does not stop clicking, until some coincidence is generated, and the possibility of communication is enabled.
The path of virtual coincidence, to the face-to-face and physical encounter in intimacy, occurs with increasing acceleration.
“What is being skipped?”
not given the waiting time to meet that other person who is still part of a “charming image on networks”. As a consequence, there is a transition from an illusion of completeness to a crack and emptiness due to a sudden disappearance. Every day it is more difficult to hold on to a bond.
Historically, meeting another has never been easy, and it is to be expected that when love appears, you will not want to give up on that person.
A healthy bond is one in which feelings flow, with the difficulties caused by the differences between its members.
“From love to master: when a letter makes a difference”
The problem appears with the “unconditional love”, absolute delivery regardless of costs. Maddening positioning, since if you are everything for another, you stop being for yourself.
“Yes, I know I have to leave him, but I love him.”
From reason one is aware that something is not right, however it cannot be renounced.
But does that “I love him” refer to a feeling?
at certain timesthe “hook on the madness of another” is disguised as feeling, becoming submission. As Sigmund Freud said: “If two people think the same about everything, I can assure you that one of them thinks for both of them”.
“You can not live for a love”
Starting from the premise that no absolute is possible or responds to health, it is essential break this “submission to the master”questioning the power of the other, and beginning to internalize the necessary resignation with the consequent pain.
Is it preferable to mourn a lost relationship, or lose yourself for not leaving that love?
Be encouraged to say NO, taking responsibility for choosing oneself, beginning to gradually repair the inner world, giving rise to one’s own desire.
Text: Lic. German Rothstein.
Facebook: Mr. German Rothstein
Instagram Photographer: milcafotografa