Politeness, friendliness and support at work are important qualities that can help you be more productive and happier at work. But anyone who wants to please others at all costs risks their own health and is particularly susceptible to burnout.
People pleaser
“People pleasers” are people who want to please everyone else. They become overly concerned with how they must be for other people. They not only adapt their way of thinking and behavior to other people, but also their feelings. This behavior becomes problematic when one’s own needs, capacities and professional goals are neglected.
Causes, characteristics and countermeasures
The causes of people pleasing usually arise in early childhood. Adults who received little attention or were neglected as children are more likely to exhibit characteristics of people pleasers. Attention, care and love are often in return for some kind of performance. Accordingly, people pleasers often have a fear of failure and a pronounced fear of rejection. They try to be as perfect as possible so as not to give anyone a reason to reject them.
People pleasers can usually be recognized by the fact that they often bend over backwards to meet other people’s needs. They find it difficult to say “no,” which often results in them taking on more responsibility than they can handle. Fearful of disappointing someone, people pleasers often let their colleagues persuade them to do favors instead of focusing on their own work and often go beyond their own boundaries, which can lead to chronic stress. However, they rarely ask for help for themselves. They are also very conflict-averse and avoid expressing an opinion that differs from the other person’s in conversation. Due to the multiple burdens and the constant pressure to please everyone, a state of emotional exhaustion, restlessness and tension, a feeling of reduced effectiveness, reduced motivation and the development of dysfunctional attitudes and behavior at work can follow – this is known as burnout.
In order to protect yourself and your own career, it is important to let go of habits and set boundaries. People pleasers must learn to maintain their energy, goals and priorities so that they can more effectively fulfill their own tasks and needs. It can be helpful to create to-do lists for your own tasks and needs, stick to them and consciously remember that taking a break from work is very important.
Editorial team finanzen.net