“TOh, I’m lucky, my husband helps me a lot around the house». Applause or shivers down your spine? It is clear, today’s men do not resemble their fathers, who – for the most part – have never touched a diaper (even a clean one) and did not even know where detergents were located in the house. Especially if they lived alone for a long time as kids, they know how to get by at home and continue to work hard even when they find themselves living together or “starting” a family. But that doesn’t mean we can toast to gender equality, not even within the home.
Gender equality, men continue to “help” women at home
In fact, men continue to “help” their partners at home. And, for the moment, it seems that those who only don’t ask too much are to be admired. Or, listen, those who take the initiative. Of course, with the laundry or the floors. In short, those who are trying. But “helping” is not the same as sharing: it means that the responsibility remains with a single head who, no matter what, sorts out the tasks.
The report State of the World’s Father, the result of research carried out in 17 countries on a sample of approximately 12 thousand people, notes that men are trying to be increasingly supportive of women in managing children and household chores. In short, they are trying (Do we or don’t we want to have a little patience?). In fact, in 16 countries involved in the survey, a percentage of 89% (on average) was recorded men who say they feel as responsible as their partner for taking care of the house. Equally important is attention to children, for 9 out of 10 interviewees, being a father is among the most beautiful things in life.
Social and economic obstacles to gender equality. The salary gap
But. There is a but. These men are so willing, they say held back by social and economic reasons. And on the topic salary gap there’s nothing to joke about. If men’s salaries around the world are a fifth higher than those of womenit is unfortunately quite obvious that families, if they have to choose, end up aim for the most remunerative paid job. The problem, while waiting for the numinous advent of equal pay, is that within the family we should not find ourselves having to choose. Women’s work should be protected and promoted as such, and even if it possibly brings lower earnings to the family. In fact? Men spend only 19% of their free time in unpaid work, aka domestic work. Compared to 55% of women.
53% of those interviewed are convinced that gender equality can benefit both women and men. And 94% think it is important that women and men enjoy the same rights. Furthermore, 80% of those interviewed believe that sons should learn to do housework. Again: applause or shivers down your spine? We ask ourselves why we are still far from equity, even on the education front.
Italian men cook more than women
Vittorio Vaccaro, television presenter and expert in conviviality, always attentive to issues concerning the family, reads these data positively. «Today’s society needs a man who is increasingly responsive, that is, capable of dealing with different situations between work and home». In short, “we are moving away”, but very calmly, from the vision of the man who must only think about bringing home the money while leaving the domestic tasks to the woman.
Could the change perhaps start from the kitchen? According to the report A Global Analysis of Cooking Around the World, our country is the only one in the world where men cook more than women. «The gap is only 0.4 more meals cooked by men per week, but they represent a turning point. A reversal of trend that began during the pandemic and which continued even with the return to normal life until it finally overtook.”
The man is a chef, the woman is a maid
It’s surprising, but up to a certain point: the man at the stove is definitely cleared. Cooking is art, inspiration, creativity and it is no coincidence that the great chefs, even on TV, are largely men. With all due respect to the men who take care of the daily preparation of meals, and it is to them that Vaccaro’s new program is aimed, equality must be played even in fields that are boring with no possibility of appeal. From cleaning floors to cleaning clothes or children.
Also on the front of care of childrento which women still dedicate more time than men, there are differences in terms of pleasantness. The one who washes and feeds them is the mother, while men, look, seem to prefer moments of leisure and play. In terms of opinions, things are relatively good: only 32% of men and 27% of women think that changing diapers, bathing children and feeding them is the mother’s responsibility. With Sweden and Portugal particularly enlightened: 87% and 86% of people in these countries are convinced that these tasks should also be shared equally.
Yet, a change is taking place at a global level, with less than ideal timing and very different from country to country, from Sweden to Italy, to Turkey.
Gender equality, the first step is “together”
For couples who are still at the beginning of this change, Vittorio Vaccaro suggests 5 actions that can be done together, to start taking measures.
1 – Prepare dinner
Preparing dinner isn’t just about cooking. But also setting and clearing the table, cleaning the kitchen, washing the dishes. In this sense, it is a task easy to divide in tasks to be divided among family members.
2 – Go shopping
Shopping can also become an important moment of sharing for a couple, a way to be together and choose how to fill the pantry while satisfying both’s tastes.
3 – House cleaning
Two do it first. If the children are a little older they can start helping out. If you have small children, it may be helpful to have one partner go out with them while the other tidies up the house. But is it really so obvious that, in the division of tasks, it is the father who takes on the burden of going out with the children?
4 – Iron
Even for ironing out collaboration it can make a difference. One irons, the other folds and arranges. Let’s imagine who does what, at least initially. But why not hypothesize a couple exchange?
5 – The children’s school
Between class assemblies, Christmas and end-of-year parties and conversations with teachers, having children at school is a commitment for parents. Taking turns is a great way to stay on top of everything. Even in this case, the frontier is that the whole load can rest on the shoulders of both parents indifferently, that no one has to ask for “help” anymore.
iO Donna © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED