Life is a path of lights and shadows. Well, the protagonist of this story knows. A woman who managed to survive a lacerating pain. “Life is not Disney,” he says during his talk with news.
Gabriela Arias Uriburu She is a writer, communicator, speaker and family consteller. It is also an international reference in the struggle for people’s rights.
In 1991 he married Imal Shaaban, Jordanian Muslim, in Guatemala. They had three children- Karim, Zahira and Sharif- and in the ’97 they separated. Justice granted divorce and gave the mother’s possession to the mother. However, the father appropriated them and took them illegally to Jordan. There began the Calvary and the legal battle of Arias Uriburu that took him years and had different instances. Finally, since 2010 he managed to have a fluid bond with his children, which were always his priority.
It is no longer that woman. The passage through that battlefield gave him strength, resilience, wisdom and humility. The possibility of helping others and also recognition. He created the Children United Foundation for the world and the meeting and healing workshops, which Paula Wassner, especially for women. He wrote nine books and the last – “The power of new family constellations” (Kier Editorial) – is a path of self -knowledge.
On March 9, Gabriela will lead Juan Manuel Giordano, vibrational technique therapist, the multisensory event of holistic therapies “Meeting of Being”which will be held at the Belgrano Auditorium. The musician Lucas Cervetti and the sound therapist Gisela Martinez with quartz bowls will also participate.
“My parents separated when I was eleven years old and it was a very traumatic separation. There I learned everything for my next step that was the separation with the father of my children. On the other hand, my paternal grandmother had taken their children. There was born for what I was living. I had to protect and care for my children, rebuild the family and claim the mother. But I also had to do a great job to heal my being a woman, who was completely dead, helpless, ”he recalls.
News: What learning did you have?
Gabriela Arias Uriburu: Very very clear marriage with a person of another culture, more in the context in which this occurs, with this confrontation of the East and West. It was very strong, very complex and led me to have to work hard on me, to read a lot to be able to be this mother of peace, healer and restorer, to be able to give my children the confidence of life.
News: His children and his ex -husband are Muslims. What look at Islam?
Arias Uriburu: Islam is sustained by a tribal format. To the extent that you belong to the tribe is a religion that protects you, that takes care of you. I am not a part. There came the entire conflict. Not being a part I am always excluded. All I could achieve is to recognize me that I am the mother. With all the work I did, just at eighth year the greatest authority of Islam in Jordan gave me a place, he thanked me and said: “I do not know any mother in Islam who has done what you did.” He restored me as a mother and from there began another story in Jordan with respect to this western and Argentine Catholic mother. But being the wise man who was could do more than that. I remain the mother, but foreign, I do not belong.
News: How did pain work, forgiveness?
Arias Uriburu: I wanted the worst for my children’s father, if I killed him, better. What saved me from continuing in that dynamic of destruction were my children and the story I lived with my parents. There I started working with my internal violence and with the psychic duo of victim-vicimary. Forgiveness was not enough. In redemption I found the possibility of redeeming these antagonistic forces to be able to choose what was better for my children. Then, when my universities ended and they were ready to make their ways, I began to take care of me, to work with my desert, with my pain and continue doing it.
News: How are your children and how is the link between you?
Arias Uriburu: My children are in Jordan and Zahira in Dubai. Two married and Zahira was Jena’s mother. The link is rehearsing, the interesting thing is that they have chosen to marry and develop a family. There they will have a lot to work with what happened to them. I am now watching their lives and accompanying what they need and I already closing the cycle of my story. Now is theirs and I need to develop the same.
News: What suggests the phrase “If it happens, it is convenient”?
Arias Uriburu: If it happens it is because it has to happen. This phrase is very interesting because generally one does not want it to happen. And if it does not happen, there is no life, there is no possibility of repair and going to more life. We have to get out of this romantic idea that one comes here to Disney. Life is not Disney.
News: In this redemption path you created the Children United Foundation for the world. What is the mission and how is it currently?
Arias Uriburu: At first, the mission was to work with the cases of children who were illegally taken abroad by one of their parents. Today we work with a group of interdisciplinary professionals. We are developing the childhood protocol that does not exist and, in addition, we are creating an application so that children have their place of belonging and feel that they are part.
News: In cases of media divorces, it is seen how children not only remain in the middle but are publicly exposed.
Arias Uriburu: Here you have to look at the stories that parents bring behind them. Children are occupying the place that adults are not occupying. See that when they appear they are telling the mother or father something. They ceased to be children and become a kind of parents of parents or have to balance a very large disorder. Your heart squeezes, because the child has to be protected and not exposed. But they are exposed because we are facing two adults who are not being adults. They are injured and it is the wound that commands there.
News: When did you discover family constellations and how did you hit you?
Arias Uriburu: Marcela, my older sister, brought me to Bach’s flowers, then to the bone, a kind of osteopath who learned the technique in China, so that panic attacks, the ayurveda could work to see how she did to be able to sleep. He told me that I had to work my urgent body because I was in the middle of a war and I could not. That saved me from a terminal disease. I started to train and do yoga. When you are passing a tragedy you have to have a food discipline, a therapeutic guide and physical activity.
News: Thus he reached the constellations
Arias Uruburu: Yes, Marcela proposed that we constelo because her daughter had separated very badly, and for me it was a trip. There I understood my family history. Then I trained as a consteller. Just in my last book I describe my work from my family system. For example, I discovered that my eleventh or fourteen grandfather was Jewish. There I understood why I married an Arab. The intifada had it in my own family system.
News: Do you have any kind of relationship with your ex -husband?
Arias Uriburu: Yes, but it is not an easy relationship.
News: Did he fall in love again?
Arias Uriburu: Yes, I was several times as a couple and it is still a great issue for me. Restore trust in a couple. I had a lot of need to be with someone to not be alone or to feel safe. I was working all that, but I never managed to be with a couple, it was always to cover those gaps. And it is very difficult for a couple to sustain themselves with that weight. Today I am as a couple, but I am more mature, on my axis, and I am my own support. I am learning to be pairs. It is very new to me.
News: Is it happy?
Arias Uriburu: Happiness is to love and accept oneself as it is. I’m trying. I come from such a hard story. Not only did they take my children, but the damage, what happened to me, what was said about me. I am working all that pain. I decided to retire from this life in peace.
