Un esthete of courtship, A few years ago, Silvio Berlusconi talked about his technique for not being told no to the first invitation. «But are you still there asking a girl if she wants to go out with you? Wrong! Faced with such a question, you give her the opportunity to say no. What you need to do is give her an alternative like this: “Do you want to go out with me tomorrow or Friday?”. You will see that she will be taken aback and will not be able to deny herself.”
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I don’t know if the technique really worked, or if what made it irresistible was that certain overall charm that no one has ever denied to the Prime Minister several times. Certainly, the anecdote drew many laughs. It was not yet the era of “political correctness” and on the small screen the girls of Drive inemblem of the advent of commercial TV, lent themselves to being a pure ornament, ripped off by Renzo Arbore’s crocodile girls.
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The codes of classic courtship today are waste paper. A few evenings ago, I was driving through the streets of Rome and I had to stop because, in front of me, a car suddenly pulled up to the curb: a group of girls, radio at very high volume, were trying to approach three young men out for a walk. Their looks seemed healthily astonished to me.
Antonella Baccaro (photo by Carlo Furgeri Gilbert).
It will be said that we women should not complain about the distortion of roles, that this too is equality. And that the single women of the past were forced to act as wallflowers, if everyone ignored them, without any possibility of taking the initiative. So, away with obsolete patterns and absolute freedom of courtship.
Today it is often women who do the courting (photo Getty Images).
After all, today’s singles don’t even know what it means to wait with a suspended heart for the fateful sentence: “Do you want to get together with me?”without being able to do anything but blink my eyes in the meantime. Today they send millions of messages and hearts, but this activism, far from making them more confident and assertive, generates an even more spasmodic type of waiting for the beloved’s response. Who keeps waiting, and collects little hearts like he once did with stickers.
In the end, the only ones nostalgic for classic courtship are us Boomers and Millennials, who tried it once. We, who lived that passive role in a romantic way, because it corresponded to the pattern of fairy tales, where it was Prince Charming who arrived on horseback. Today you can barely fix a tear on a scooter, where all you can dream of is being Rose of Titanic (including the risk of crashing).
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Antonella Baccaro’s articles on I Woman and on Corriere della Sera.
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