They met on the first day of their law studies in 2009. “We just started as study measures, but there was a click immediately. We immediately went to each other and got a relationship. Now we are still together, sixteen years later. People often say that we fit so well together, and that feels like that too. We are still buddies.”
New lives
That study love eventually turned into a busy family life. With three children aged eight, five and three years. “Our lives look very different now that we are parents. You are no longer just partners or friends, but also father and mother. The children go for it and that means that you put yourself less central. At the same time we have grown up. We grew automatically in parenting.”
Routine
The morning rush hour in the house is recognizable chaotic. “We are often waking up just on time, then it is hurrying: having breakfast, having children dressed, brushing your teeth and bike to school. The moment I leave for the office, Durk takes over. He cooks every day, so when I get home I can just sit down. In the evening it is not much quieter. When the children finally sleep, I will dive into the next day, I dive into the bread, the bread crawls, the bread crawls, the bread cushioning. I rarely do. “
“For me, time with the children also feels like time for myself.” © Own image
Division
The division of roles is particularly striking within their household. “Durk does at least eighty percent of the household: he washes, cleans, cooks. I sometimes do a laundry or the dishes, but not much more. Two years ago I did a lot more, but when I wanted to follow my work ambitions, this changed. He encouraged me by taking up more work in the household. Now I am four days, and on Friday I am working.”
“When we tell this to others, they often say,” Oh, modern, how much he does! ” But it is not that we wave feminist flags it has just grown so much and it works for us. “
“We earn almost the same. I a little more a month, but he has a better pension accrual and a year -end bonus.
Everything goes in one hope, we have joint accounts. I don’t feel at all controlled in that. It is practical and well -arranged. If I spend a lot of clothing, he just sees it. But that’s fine, because we do it together. “
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Time for the children
Their parents also often help with the children. “The grandparents will fit on Tuesday and Thursday. When our daycare center stopped, we did not actively look for something new. The grandfathers and grandmothers like to help. And for us it is worth gold.”
In the weekends there is room to do something fun with the family. “We often go to outdoor playgrounds, zoos or museums. And there are also sports competitions and piano lessons. It is always busy, but fun.”
She has hardly any time for herself, but she doesn’t mind at all. “I used to go to the sauna for another day. Now I prefer to spend my free time with the children. But to be honest I don’t miss it either.
For me, time with the children also feels like time for myself. It is not a punishment to spend time with them; Because I work a lot during the week, it is nice to be together with the children in the weekends. ”
“A certain division of tasks is not cast in concrete, you grow and move together in it.” © Own image
Education in balance
In terms of parenting, they complement each other nicely. “Durk is more principial than me. For example, he thinks everyone should stay at the table until the last one has been eaten. I am more flexible and let them play when they are ready. But that balance works. We try not to convince each other right. The children know that we cannot play against each other.”
Her most important message for other parents is clear: “It is an automatism to think that mothers arrange everything better: the diaper supply, children’s parties, school bags, the school app.”
“But you can really share that self -imposed responsibility. Let go, and give space to your partner to do it in his own way. That is perhaps the most important lesson I have learned in the past two years.
A certain division of tasks is not cast in concrete, you grow and move together in it. We let go of each other and we take each other seriously. That is precisely what parenting makes together so much fun. ”
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