“I’ve had a hard time,” she writes. “I have trouble feeling connected to this life that I have been leading for so many years. I struggled to find the joy, the goal behind all this. The hardest thing is that I always had a big dream to win an Olympic medal. That was what motivated me every day. And to be honest it came harder than I had expected when I misunderstood.”
Coronabes
With the latter, Kramer refers to a coronabes infection that she sustained three years ago just before the Beijing Olympic Games. She was in blood form that season – won seven world cup matches, including the final classification – but due to an infection a few weeks before the start of the Games, she was not allowed to travel to China. That hurt a lot with Kramer, who no longer won a world cup after that season.
This despite the fact that Kramer wanted to continue. “Four more years, one more chance, just finish your story,” was her motto. “I went on because I thought I had to. Because I wanted to finish my story. Because I thought others wanted me to finish my story. But somewhere I stopped living really. The joy had disappeared and without joy even loses the most beautiful story. This suddenly felt empty.”
Never give up
“I thought I inspired people by continuing, by never giving up,” Kramer continues. “The reality is that I was not true to myself. And how can I inspire others if I live a version of a dream that is no longer mine? I have always been proud of the fact that I am someone who never gives up. That makes this decision so incredibly difficult. Because this is not the end I had imagined. It is not how I wanted to end this story?”
Despite the pain of saying goodbye, she closes positively. “I am proud that I am finally brave enough to accept it, to listen to my body and heart. Finally brave enough to let go.”
Honorary list Sara Marita Kramer
Kramer moved to Austria at the age of six and could even be seen with her parents in the TV program I leave. In Austria she learned ski jumping and not without success. She won fifteen world cups and even once the final classification. At the World Cup she won medals with the country team: once gold and once silver. Individually she became twice fourth.