Before starting, a warning: this is more complex than putting together a WhatsApp group without conflicts. Welcome to the fascinating, chaotic and sometimes hilarious world of family businesses.
What happens when one is director, partner and maker at the same time? It’s like trying to be an archer, front and referee in a game. Let’s imagine Pablo, who reviews the financial statements as director, while his “I” partner claims: “How are there no dividends this month?”, And his “I” a maker shouts from the bottom: “Who helps me with the customer’s request?” It is not crazy, it is simply part of a family business.
These labor roles overlap with family members. Paul is not just director; He is also a son, brother and uncle. In a meeting, when someone questions his strategy, he could be listening to: “You will never be up to dad.” And when his sister proposes something, he may think: “There he goes again, as in childhood, wanting to be the favorite of the grandmother.” These unconscious patterns can dynamite relationships and decisions.
Let’s talk about emotions. As director, there is fear: “What if this decision is a disaster and my children reproach me at Christmas?” As a partner, anxiety appears: “I want results, but will I see them in my life?” And as a maker … well, the maker is too busy turning off fires to think about emotions.
These tensions generate scenes worthy of a streaming series. At the Board of Directors, someone proposes to reinvest. The partner says: “Wait, I want my utilities!”, While the maker hits the table: “Do not talk about reinvestment, that the coffee maker is still broken since April!” Does it sound like them?
This is where tools such as systemic constellations can make a difference. They help identify invisible patterns that affect family and business dynamics. For example, they can reveal how unconscious loyalty to the founding grandfather slows risky decisions or how a conflict between brothers blocks the growth of the company. When working with these tools, families can heal relationships and align objectives more clearly.
Emotions not only impact each individual, but also contaminate relationships. Technical discussions are transformed into personal fights. A comment like “I do not agree with your strategic plan” translates into “you never trust me.” And if there was a conflict at the Last Supper, it will surely reappear at Monday’s meeting.
How do we handle this chaos without losing the sanity (or the company)? First, clarity: before speaking, let’s ask ourselves “from what role do I think now?” It is not the same to speak as director as a partner or maker. Second, empathy: instead of thinking “he just wants to complicate my life,” let’s try to understand his concern.
Third, let’s learn to laugh at ourselves. If a meeting is tense, we could release something like: “Is this a business discussion or a reality show?” Humor disarms conflicts and reminds us that, at the end of the day, we are on the same ship.
Finally, let’s professionalize. Implement family protocols and train emotional intelligence miracles. In addition, having an efficient management system reduces tensions and avoids misunderstandings. With clear rules and support technology, chaos decreases and love can be the guide. Because what really supports family businesses is not balances or strategies, but the desire to build something together, even when we want to throw ourselves with broken coffee maker.
In family businesses, the most powerful emotion is not fear or frustration, but love. Love for what is built, for those who work by our side and for the legacy we want to leave. If we get that love to guide us, each decision will have a clear and shared purpose.
By CEDOC