Noand the months of Covid, which seemed to never end and now they struggle to resonate in the collective memory if not for the usual fights over vaccines, we have revisited our idea of family. The people we missed and perhaps helped us the most, in the alternation of emergencies, were often friends and girlfriends.
Elective affinities beyond blood kinship. Proximity bonds beyond the roots. We told ourselves that “we would come out better” and that didn’t happen, on the contrary. But among the good things there remained a clear trace of thatsharing experience – of fear, of pain, of relief – with traveling companions acquired gradually, through the seasons of life.
The need to build community
Perhaps this is why the numbers have been multiplying since then community of friends (those between friends not received) who organize themselves to live together. Choose a space to divide into common and private areasorganize shifts for errands and household chores, have only one co-owned car, help out with the children if there are any, provide an assistance network in case of illness. Go out in the evening in a group (and safely).
Barbara Stefanelli, deputy director of Corriere della Sera
In Germany they call them “Beginenhoefe” because they were inspired by those religious communities spread since the Middle Agesespecially in northern Europe, who offered refuge and work to even non-consecrated women: they were, all together, modern and independent – the exact opposite of the negatively restrictive connotation with which the term “beguines” has been charged over the centuries. Perhaps someone, fearing their disruptive force, wanted to discredit them.
In the United States, sororities are taking shape in rural and suburban areas as a barrier to insecurity among single mothersprecarious workers, pensioners with little means and many years ahead. In London, the “New Ground” residential community was founded in 2016. designed exclusively for women over fifty: 25 apartments with shared kitchen, film club, gym, gardens. Men are allowed, to visit, never to stay permanently. In the majority of cases mapped by research, economic hardship is not the prime mover of these co-housing stories.
The essential idea of ”collaborative living” between friends responds to the desire to be together discarding imposed roles or customs, leaving social pressures on mothers, grandmothers, even daughters and aunts on standby. Starting a “family”, therefore, moving sideways – which then means re-centring – and betting on a chosen group, thought of and wanted, not inherited. An unprecedented family, more or less extended, which can change the rules of the game. You know that over your head you will have a roof resistant to extreme events, such as loneliness, and no glass to break to prove who you are.