Today, according to his family, Jean-Marie Le Pen, ‘called by God’, will be buried. Which god is that? That has not been announced. I fear Allah has little chance.
I am curious about the type of hearse that will take Jean-Marie to his final grave. Tesla? That could just be possible. Nice symbolic choice. Current too. Maybe Musk would like to drive it himself. Or does Elon not have time? He is the crazy jack-of-all-trades of the crazy pussy grabber Uncle Donald and therefore way too busy-busy-busy. First of all, by bending the German and British people to his right hand. This week he held an objective and above all critical conversation with the far-right Alice Weidel of the German AfD. It turned out that the Nazis were actually socialists. Well.
Extreme right is a risk word in the current political climate. According to Wierd Duk, you should call the Germanic Alice populist right. The extreme right thinks Telegraph-journalist Duk exaggerated. And we know: they don’t like to exaggerate at that newspaper.
About The Telegraph spoken. Last Sunday I briefly visited their website. That’s every artist’s wet dream. According to the morning newspaper, my car was set on fire in Culemborg on New Year’s Eve by drunken young people. How did they get there? I wrote that myself. Where? In this damned canal belt newspaper. Only the alert editors had not understood that it was in a column. Touching, right? Then I was bothered all week by the school newspaper article, which was erased from the site after an hour. On Monday morning, two guys from the radio wanted to talk to me about my life-threatening adventure in the Betuwe. I also received dozens of emails from all kinds of low-literate people who told me, with many language errors, that it was of course the macros who had done it. My faithful old Volvo garage wanted to sell me a new car as quickly as possible. When I called Wierd to ask which idiot had made this rookie mistake, he told me it was a somewhat pathetic intern. I asked if he was fired? On the contrary, the kid joined the editorial team this week.
Wilders also called me. But he had other news. A first even. He has instructed his squire Schoof to tell the Belgians that we are on our way. I didn’t quite understand him. Did I read newspapers? “Only The Telegraph”, I replied. According to Geert, the boundaries are currently being pushed on our increasingly warmer planet. Greenland, Canada, the Gulf of Mexico, the Panama Canal, Ukraine plus some petty work around the Black Sea all change hands. So it seemed only right to Geert, now that the iron is boiling hot, to confiscate Flanders. We have been speaking the same language for years and now is the time to strike. Defense Minister Ruben Brekelmans has already sent the troops south. First Zeeuws-Vlaanderen is taken and then we move on to Bruges, Ghent and Kortrijk. So half Belgium. The other half goes to the French together with Luxembourg. There is still bickering about Brussels. Because no one wants it. They ask Frans Timmermans whether he might want it. Just as a souvenir. To occasionally babble through nostalgically in a drunken mood.
The plan is to appoint the PVV member Gom van Strien as King’s Commissioner in the new Dutch province of Flanders. Ultimately, Ronald Plasterk takes over. Why Gom and Ronald? They have a lot of experience with things that they did not receive honestly.
One question remains open: which god did Le Pen choose? And why only now? Isn’t God good and loves people? And especially of the poor and outcasts. Why was Jean-Marie allowed to wander on earth for so long? It’s funny that he has to leave at a time when almost the entire world is opting for his scary ideas. And now gay hater Anita Bryant is also heaven. Oh well, to quote myself again: all lives end well in the end.