Sam Smith has done it again: Revealing outfits on the street (see below) and current music videos do not correspond to the dictates of supposed masculinity. People who are indoctrinated by potency and by prevailing images of masculinity therefore, they believe, have every reason, the clothes, the nipple tassels, the crop tops, preferably the body shape under Smith’s outfits and anyway the entire sexuality of the pop star, who has won multiple Grammys and other prizes to chalk up.
It should now seem absurdly ridiculous to address another person’s outfit, let alone restrict other human beings in their being and doing. Facts, however, prove the opposite: there is bullying wherever possible – and one should talk about it. Important to know: Sam Smith identifies as a person who rejects the norms of the binary system and does not want to continue to be addressed as “he”, instead in English the pronouns are “They / Them” to use.
“Makes men men again”: Where and when did we take the wrong turn?
A recent post on this topic by queer activist Matt Bernstein trended on Instagram: @mattxiv posted a post pointing out men’s fashion through the ages. He did so in response to a tweet posting a photo of Sam Smith asking “Make Men Men Again.”
Bernstein’s post generated more than 600,000 likes in one day and is gaining more likes every hour. Incidentally, the post also features Carl Weathers, the actor who played Apollo Creed from the Rocky Balboa films – in short, tight boxer shorts. In general, sporty ball-biters and shirts ending above the navel and the like seemed to have been part of the aphrodisiac ideal of masculinity for men in the 80s. What has happened since then, where and when did we take a wrong turn that some are so upset about it today?
Scroll through here once – to be able to examine the skimpy men’s outfits of the past centuries:
Men with nipple tassels: what to do with the feeling of discomfort
Before Sam Smith’s “explicit” way of leaving the house, the music video for “I’m Not Here to Make Friends” was heavily criticized. After all, the video shows Smith in high patent leather shoes, nightwear, a corset, with a crown and nipple tassels. The reaction to this was (unfortunately) to be expected: sheer shock among followers of Western gender norms.
You have to be careful with sexual self-determination at first: Some people out there “don’t know what to do with their discomfort,” writes author Daisy Jones for “Vogue” on the subject of Sam Smith and the fear of queerness.
Jones also addresses concerned parents for whom queerness seems to be more than just an abstract monster under the crib (i.e. made up): “Behind so many of these worried ‘But what about the kids?’ veiled presence of queerphobia. If a skinny cis woman wore a corset with nipple pads, there wouldn’t be this level of angry debate.”
Talking ’bout My Generation: Fear of the New
Or are Sam Smith and those outfits actually a projection screen for the omnipresent fear of being different, of sexual freedom and of enjoying one’s own body, regardless of the size? It would at least be possible to talk about it in order to avoid fears and phobias, body shaming and ideals of beauty – directed against another person – causing damage. And that forces non-binary people to have to say “fuck it” so they can live their truths.
If one were to talk more about the deeper problem, one would soon find out what is at the root of it: Isn’t it rather the fear of the young, which recurs from generation to generation, who explain the world to themselves and change it? Combined with the fear that young people no longer want to kneel down before religion and would rather devote themselves to their belief in the freedom of the individual? Add to that the dissolution of old, hard-earned structures and we have a mixture of topics that could be talked about face to face.
Conversations, however, cost energy, as does leaving one’s own comfort zone – anonymously reaching for the keyboard does not.