The way we cross the duel has changed with the appearance of WhatsApp, social networks and “the cloud.” Today, in addition to our existence in the real world, we have a digital presence that remains active even after death.
Not so long ago, when we wanted to remember someone who was gone, we were looking for a photo album, a family video or a stored letter. It was a deliberate act: we chose when and how to connect with those memories. Then, we stored everything in place until we felt the need to see it again.
Today, on the other hand, the digital presence of those who have died continues with us without looking for it. His profiles in social networks remain active, they continue in our WhatsApp groups, we keep their audios, their photos and videos, and many times the algorithms themselves bring us their memories unexpectedly. Not only do we see them on our devices, but also appear in the cell phones and networks of other people who, with good intention, share them.
Of course, this can be a comfort: it allows us to continue feeling them close and honor their memory. But it also modifies the grieving process and the way we integrate the absence in our daily lives.
The impact of the digital presence on duel
The impact of the digital presence on the duel
Some of the ways in which technology influences duel includes:
• Memories without prior notice: before, we were who decided when to remember someone; Now, technology does it for us. A notification with a photo of “A year ago”, an old message that appears when looking for another conversation, a video that someone forwards us … all this can generate a mixture of difficult emotions to anticipate.
• The difference with physical memories: in the past, memories had a definite space: a photo album, a letter saved in a drawer. Now, digital information is always available and can break at any time.
• The paradox of digital permanence: the person has died, but continues “present” on social networks, chats, emails and cloud photos. For some, this is a shelter; For others, it can be a lock in the elaboration of the duel.
• Decisions about the fingerprint: What to do with social networks profiles of who is no longer? Keep them active, close them, turn them into commemorative? There is no single answer, but it is a decision that impacts both the family and the circle of friends.
• The collective duel in networks: it is common to see publications remembering someone who died, messages on their wall or people who continue writing them in chats. For some, these digital rituals help process loss; For others, they can make the farewell process more difficult.
The duel in the digital age facing new questions: when is it time to stop writing to someone who is no longer? Is it healthy to check your photos constantly? What do we do with your profiles? Each person travels their duel in a unique way, and technology can be both a bridge and an obstacle on that path.
It is important to be attentive to how each of these things that I mentioned earlier affects us and make decisions paying attention to how we are and what we need without “the technology” decides by us.
Lara Levyon
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@psicolalevyon
Photographs taken by Caro Cle.