Reed: “I remember when I first heard about the Knarrenhof. I was out with friends for our regular museum day. On the way back, one of those friends told us that an acquaintance was going to live in the new Knarrenhof, with us in Hardenberg. Then a light went on for me. Because I had already read about the concept: that it was a social housing arrangement where you live with all the elderly on one property and look out for each other. I thought: that’s something for Ben and me. So the next day at breakfast I said, “Ben, I’m going to ask you something and you shouldn’t say no right away.” Ben doesn’t really like change.”
Ben: “But then I said very matter-of-factly: ‘Yes, we are going to do that.’”
Reed: “That was another stroke of luck!”
Ben: “Look, we had a nice house in Hardenberg, but in the meantime we could play hide and seek there. I didn’t feel anything for an apartment or a flat, but such a courtyard for the elderly: yes, that suits us. We have always been at the center of society. I was a referee at the football club, a traffic controller and I was Sinterklaas at a school for 25 years.”
Reed: “We were now at an age where we noticed that we could no longer do everything. Then it is nice to live smaller, with everything conveniently close by. We have been living here since 2020 and we love it. It is not without reason that there are 168 people on the waiting list.”
Ben: “We have a coffee morning twice a month, the last Friday of the month is a drinks afternoon. I am on the garden committee and I was also on the activities committee, but I stopped doing that last month.”
Reed: “It became a bit too much. That is something you have to pay attention to here: that you guard your boundaries. Although that is of course also up to you.”
Ben: “Riet has always had that. Always offering a helping hand.”
Reed: “But you always get something in return. This week I received such a sweet card from our neighbor with a beautiful poem, saying that I was an angel without wings, because I help him every now and then. Well, then I feel like an incredibly rich person.”
Off the bed board
Ben: “I started my working life by driving trucks. Then I met Riet and her father said: Ben, you have a good conversation, why don’t you work as a representative instead of that heavy loading and unloading? That’s how it happened. Finally I worked at Sara Lee, a large company that also included Douwe Egberts. I had fifteen representatives under me, all over the country. Until I got a good offer to take early retirement. I was 58 then.”
Reed: “I have always worked. Not in a permanent profession, but what life brought me. When I was twenty-one, I started working in the office at a furniture manufacturer in Almelo. I had just gotten married and off the bed I was pregnant.”
Ben: “That’s Twente: off the bed board. Immediately after marriage, that means.”
Reed: “My boss was angry; he couldn’t miss me at the office. Then I said, “Well, I’ll come to work with the stroller.” That’s how I’ve always done it. Not from a feminist point of view; we could simply use the money.”
Ben: “Later we moved to Hardenberg and Riet was at home with three young children. But I already said then: I will be curious when you will open your cage again.”
Reed: “I can’t sit still and I love interacting with people. So I ended up working in aged care, in a clothing store and volunteering with Victim Support. We also looked after the grandchildren with great love. At one point we had all seven of them at the same time on Thursday. Now they are between 20 and 31, so they all have their own lives now.”
Meeting together
Reed: “If you look at our agenda now, it is packed. Do you want to see it? Look, this week: Reed performing with the mandolin orchestra. Reed to the ophthalmologist. I’m going to the dentist. I go to the craft club and the School of Philosophy. When my daughter sees this, she says: Mom, why don’t you take it easier?
Ben: “We always discuss what the day looks like over a cup of coffee in the morning. I get a bit forgetful.”
Reed: “We call that meetings. If I tell it per part of the day, it will be manageable for Ben.
Ben: “Yes, that forgetfulness… I don’t feel physically 84 yet, but you notice it in my head.”
Reed: “Some things are just not possible anymore. We always went away a lot, on holiday. For our sixtieth wedding anniversary next year I wanted to go on a trip to Greece, I had already made all the arrangements. But Ben honestly said that he didn’t like that anymore. That was a disappointment, I had to get over it. It’s not always roses and moonshine, is it Ben?”
Ben: “No, everyone gets their turn in life, that’s for sure.
Reed: “But in the meantime I know: whatever happens to Ben and me, we always make something of it. And that has been going on for sixty years, which is very special. So we started meeting again about how we can celebrate.”
Ben: “Don’t tell!”
Reed: “No, I’m not going to reveal anything – the invitations haven’t gone out yet. But we can say that we organize something for the people we love. And the week before that I see if we can stay in a house, close by, with the bicycles. We both like that.”