Roline de Wilde, director of De Kindertelefoon, says that the volunteers have about 30 to 40 conversations a day about the war in Ukraine. Children who call or chat ask all kinds of questions. Some are confused by the violent images they have seen or wonder what war actually is and others are also afraid that it will be war here in the Netherlands.
Needs of the child
“Children get a lot from what is going on in Ukraine. Especially via social media, via Tiktok for example. Some children feel the need to talk about it or call us with questions about the war. Our volunteers first try to find out exactly what a child needs or what the child is afraid of,” says de Wilde.
Factual information
Will there also be war in the Netherlands? Of course, the volunteers don’t know the answer to that either. “We tell the children that we don’t know that either, but we try to reassure them by, for example, indicating that world leaders are talking to each other to try to stop the war. Children also find it scary that it seems to happen so close by, but then we can indicate that it is a two-day drive and two nights’ sleep and not next door. We give the children very factual information. It is often very relieved to talk about it and to hear from us that more children are worried. We encourage the children to keep talking about it with friends, parents or at school and not to walk around with questions or fears.”
Resilience
“It is good for parents to first consider for themselves what they think of the situation and how they feel about it. Children also get this unconsciously. Are you restless yourself? Then your child can take over that feeling. That’s good to realize. Do you get questions from your children or grandchildren? Then you can approach it in the same way as our volunteers: first try to find out what exactly is bothering your (grand) child. This varies greatly by age and by child. Keep asking questions and take it seriously, that often also brings a lot of peace. Listen to your child’s needs. What does he or she need? Some children want to know everything, but there are also children who become very restless from all the news and who do not want to see violent videos. Then try to think together how they can focus on something more fun. Children have so much resilience and often know very well which steps they have to take and what makes them happy. So keep talking about that.”